A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im a high school student and my ex boyfriend is a freshman in college. My ex boyfriend and I were together for 2 years. On October of 2011 I broke up with him because I was starting to have feelings for this other guy and I was afraid I would cheat on him. For three months until january, my ex kept asking for me back, and would stalk me. He would literally drive by my house at night. The guy I was having feelings for and I started talking a week after I broke up with my ex. On December, we started dating. It's march already, and I keep having mixed feelings for both of them. I miss my ex and want him back, but at the same time I don't want to be with him because he would always control what I was doing while we were together. I couldn't hang out with my friends at all. It gets to me though because he told me he would change for me, but I wasn't sure if he would. And my current boyfriend, I get easily annoyed by him now and I don't even know why. I get mad at him a lot and it gets him very sad. I know I don't deserve him because he's way too nice to me and here I am having second thoughts. We went to a festival yesterday and my ex was there and all I could do was look for my ex. Alll through the concert, my ex kept looking at me. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know I jumped into another relationship too fast. I don't know what I should do. I'm a bad person for doing this. I want my ex back, yet I dont know what to do. Then I like my current boyfriend very much, yet sometimes I don't want to be with him. Can someone please help me? Should I just break it off and be alone for the rest of my life? I keep thinking about what my ex said, that he loves me so much he was willing to forgive me for leaving him and get back together with me, but that was in January, and I had to block his number from my phone so he could move on, but he hasn't moved on. He does drugs now. A lot. I feel so selfish. I really messed him up. What do i do? Please help.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 March 2012):
 I dont think either of these 2 guys are right for you so the best thing you can do is break up with your current boyfriend and take some time out from relationships.
You fell for someone else while you were with your ex, so clearly when you were with him your feelings were not that strong, otherwise you would have never even looked at another guy. And now he does drugs he is not in a good place, he will only drag you down with him. You cannot have a relationship with a drug addict, simple as that. it will be more painful and difficult that you could ever imagine, and it is only going to make his controlling nature worse.
As for your current boyfriend - you are right in saying you rushed into it, and because you never had chance to get over your ex you now are stuck in between the two of them getting more and more confused.
The best thing you can do is break up with your boyfriend and be single for a bit. Try being alone for 2-3 months, and then see how you feel then. You might still have feelings for your ex, or you might have feelings for the current boyfriend. Or you might have realised neither guy is right for you!
But you need that time to be alone before you can make that decision, you need space to let your feelings settle down and clear up all of the confusion in your mind. Being single for a few months will really help you I promise. It doesnt mean you have to be single for the rest of your life, just until you have sorted your head out and you know 100% for certain what you want from a man and a relationship.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 March 2012):
 What do you do??? Drop the ex. If he's using words like "forgive you for breaking up with me" and he's doing drugs, stalking you, and promising to change (the drugs alone should tell you that there is no change on his horizon), this shouldn't make you pine after him.
This should freak you out and cause you to stay as far away from him as possible. This obsessive behavior of his stalking you, being places you and your current boyfriend are is scary stuff. The only way to stop it is permanent cut-off from him.
Not to scare you, but drug fueled obsession is the cause of a lot of violent crimes against "exes", and the whole "forgive" language of what he said to you should have you asking yourself what he'd do if he didn't forgive.
Stop playing games. If you don't like your current boyfriend, break up. Don't do this dangerous back-and-forth, because that sounds like you're 12 years old in middle school deciding whether to choose Skyler with the long hair or Cody with the blue eyes and the acne.
You need to learn to be alone. Not for the rest of your life, but this need for your ego to be constantly reassured is going to get you into major trouble.
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