A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently got out of a relationship and met up with a girl I had a huge thing for in high school. We hadn't talked for six months, but I learned that we both had just gotten out of relationships, and that we still had pretty much everything in common.I've always knew this girl was awesome on so many levels, and I still have not met anyone as beautiful as her. Needless to say, we got carried away with ourselves that night. She said so many things to me, "your perfect" this and "i need someone like you" that. We got very intimate with each other, but stopped short of sex.The next day everything went downhill. She felt like we made a mistake, and that I was the one who got carried away. I will admit, I said some dumb things too, but she is pretending she didn't do anything to instigate it, and that it didn't mean anything.Things could have been different if I had just made sure we had taken it slowly. Based off what she said and did, she clearly had more feelings for me, but I messed that all up. I was so close, but I threw myself at her when I should have been reserved.I know I will find other people, but it kills me each time i do. Each time, I keep getting closer and closer to that perfect beautiful woman, but it keeps getting harder to see them go out of my life. At this point I can't even see myself doing better. Part of me feels like finding anyone else would just be me settling. I've always just been settling, and knew that I needed someone just like this woman. I never thought I ever had a chance with this person, but now I know I did. I fear that I will always look back on this and always feel this pain in my chest.I can't stand being anywhere alone anymore because I don't like being by myself with this memory. I don't really know how to handle this. It's so important that I do the right thing, but I just don't trust myself anymore. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Zanie +, writes (27 May 2010):
 So true, when a woman puts herself out there and the guy takes it, the girl gets turned off. It's unspoken but a women knows a guy really cares for her when he can resist sexual encounter. When you took her up on the offer, she felt used, and it made you out to be the player.
It's a fine line.
I don't understand why it has to be completely over. Yeah she is a little ticked but you didnt go through the complete act. Maybe there's still a chance? Maybe if you tell her that you really like her and you really want another chance with her. Explain that you're sorry it went so far and that you wish it had gone slower but you made the mistake of getting so close because you really liked her and she was hard to resist. Tell her you would like to go out and start again. See what she says.
If not, well...lesson learned. Women want to know you care about who they are not just what they can do in bed. That's the impression women get, when you go for it too soon. Even if they want it, they aren't always being rational either. I tell my guy friends, that if you really like a girl, dont try to have sex with her until she gives you the MEGA symbols. Like she pulls you down or invites you stay over or etc and make sure that you have dated a few times and had the chance to establish some connection. Kissing and all that is fine but if you let the girl lead, then you are never in the wrong.
Hopes she gives ya another chance. If not, then don't be so melodramatic...you'll get over it and hopefully, you'll have better luck.
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