A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am I being silly here, I met this guy about three weeks ago and was attracted straight away, we had small talk whenever we saw each other but I didn't really think he liked me. Well last saturday I decided to just talk to him more than small talk and we ended up talking for a couple hours, turned out he did like me and noticed me for a while now. Well, the moment came when I kissed him and it wasn't a good kiss, I felt uncomfortable and didn't find him that great after? But then I still kissed him later during the night even though I didn't want to, but it's because he kept leaning in and kissing me, I didn't want to say you're not a good kisser, I don't like kissing you. Anyways, he said he wants to see me again and made it clear he likes me. Really I should be happy since I did like him, but after kissing him I've gone off him now. I just don't think it could work if I don't like kissing him and I feel uncomfortable when I do.How can I tell him? And is that stupid that my attraction and me liking him has gone all because he wasn't a good kisser at all!?
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (18 November 2011):
 Hi,
After reading your story, I thought it was funny. Not laughing at you, but funny situation. I felt awful feeling this way, it's bad...
I think "caring guy" gave you the best answer. Really, there's no easy way to tell someone you don't like them that way. The "it's not you, it's me" it's so old... There's no gentle way, and no matter what you say, or how you say it, eventually it will hurt his feelings a little. I know you feel bad, but the sooner you talk to him the better. Remember; you are a great guy, but I just don't think I am the girl for you.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (17 November 2011):
Ask yourself this: even if he was a good kisser would you feel any differently or did things just feel awkward?
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Yeah you didnt have feelings for him to begin with... just a brief infatuation. Now, since he likes you the "chase" is over therefore your interest in him will be completely lost. Let him down gently then the obvious next step is to move forward.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 November 2011):
It wasn't about him being a bad kisser - I just think you don't fancy him. I think you thought that you had those feelings for him, but in actual fact he was just a friend. I think you'd be better off just saying that he's a great guy, but that you're not the girl for him.
I don't think your feelings changed. I don't think they were there in the first place. Better you found out then than later on.
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