A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently posted a question about having not heard from my boyfriend in a week. I ended up calling him that night to see what was going on and he ended up breaking up with me. He said that his feelings had been changing in the past two months and that he doesn't see himself marrying me. He also mentioned that our long distance was an issue, that neither of us were planning to move closer to each other anytime soon. Which is untrue on my end, I'm always saying that I was going to move there within the next year or so and I'm even now looking for a job to do it sooner but I guess he didn't bother to think about that. Needless to say, I'm a heartbroken wreck :( I thought things were going great. He was being super sweet and attentive, and all of a sudden he hits me with this. He said he didn't want things to end badly and that he still wanted to be friends and that who knows, maybe he'll change his mind but I doubt that. What I don't understand is how he can turn off his feelings like that. One second he's saying he loves me and can't wait to see me and the next, he doesn't care about me anymore?? I've sent him a few messages. The first one started out as a heartpour, telling him that I thought what we had was real and how much he meant to me, etc. but then I got a little nasty at the end saying that I felt used and cheap. He owes me money and I told him that I'd like that back ASAP. I said something about him talking to other girls too.He responded to that and said that he didn't want things to end this way but it's because he's confused and doesn't know what he wants. He was being sort of an ass and that really hurt my feelings, and eventually we started fighting about the money thing until we just stopped talking. The next morning, I went on Facebook and the first thing in my newsfeed was that he had added 4 girls as friends. We originally met on FB, so that instantly pissed me off/hurt me because I felt like he was already looking for the next girl. When I got home, I looked again and noticed that he had deleted the activity from his wall (my assumption? it was an attempt to hide it from me-which is even more suspicious). I sent him a message calling him out on that and he wrote back saying that he doesn't have to explain anything to me but they requested him, and he deleted the activity because he knew I'd think that. He said he was trying not to go off on me bc I was really making him angry and he wanted to remain friends but if this was what it was going to be like then screw it and that I probably didn't even want to be friends so w/e. He said he made his decision after a lot of thought and that I deserve better, I shouldn't miss out on an opportunity cuz I'm with him. And as for him looking for someone else, he said that if it's not me with him, then it's no one for now.I don't understand :( He'll respond to anything negative that I say, but if I say that I care or miss him or love him, he completely ignores it. He keeps saying for now, for now, for now. That maybe he'd change his mind someday. Maybe he'd regret his decision. He's confused and doesn't know what he wants.I'm probably just reading into it too much because I still want us to be together, I don't know. I told him that I was going to leave him alone and he couldn't even say no, don't leave me alone or anything like that to show that MAYBE he still cares. I guess he doesn't. I just wish that before I left him alone, I asked if there was any chance of us ever getting back together because that's the question eating at me the most right now. I don't know what to do :( This is day three of me not eating, sleeping, basically doing nothing but crying my eyes out all day. I know I have to leave him alone and that if he wants me, he'll have to realize it himself and blah blah..but this just really sucks
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cheap, facebook, heartbroken, long distance, money Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 1sunshine +, writes (18 November 2011):
 Yeah, It's over. Stop wasting your time & energy on him. I basically went through the same thing with my ex-boyfriend. He just didn't have the balls to break up with me sooner. Instead, he played mind games with me for almost two months. Delete him off of fb. Start over brand new! Do it for yourself. One day you will look back ( like I did ) and realize "why did I waste so much time with that loser/jerk!!" I found the love of my life about 4 months after going through all that crap with my ex. Now I am so greatful that my loser ex broke up with me!! Good luck honey ;)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): Everytime you contact him you push him away. Do not confront. The single best thing you can do at this point is tell him you can see why it has come to an end, tell him it's taken a couple days but you can see it's for the best. Then start no contact. In the mean time go out, be with family/friends, start a hobbie, pamper yourself & enjoy being young & single. It's really fun!!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 November 2011):
 ah the pain and suffering diet... it sucks.honey he told you it was changing this is not all of a sudden...stop trying to see hope where there is none. I'm so sorry. this hurts but he's done....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): I would say, for your health's sake, move on. Delete him from Facebook, and never look back. If he truly loves you and "changes his mind" HE will come to you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Here are my 2 Cents for what it's worth.
1. He's been wanting out a lot longer then he said, properly because he's meet someone else or is keen on someone else.
2. Get your money back.
3. Stop arguing with him over his Facebook, if you two are broken up, don't waste energy on it.
4. You can't make someone feel something for you. If he isn't sure about you, the right thing IS to break up, not to string you along.
5. If he doesn't see a future with you, why do you want him around?
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