A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy a little over a week ago and we hit it off immediatly. He told me straight up he was still in love w/ his ex and the reason they werent together is because she was in love w/ someone else and couldnt make up her mind who she wants to be w/. (basically playing w/ his head) he told me this b/c he doesnt want to hurt me. we still hung out and now i cant stop thinking about him. i'm not one to get attached easily. this is the first guy i've felt this way about since i broke up w/ my ex of 3 yrs almost 2 yrs ago. what should i do??? my head is telling me to drop him, but my heart wont let me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni want to first thank everyone for their advise. it was excellant (although sadly i havent gotten to use it). i havent really been talking to him. actually not really at all. so i am sorta over it. i still have some feelings for him, but it is outta my hands. so if anything really exciting happens soon i will keep you posted.
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (20 June 2007):
 I agree with the other aunt here. He has feelings for now you cant change and he has to deal with before he can consider dating again. It might be best to follow your head and stay friends.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): In this case I'd say listen to your head. Any guy who tells you right from the start that he's still in love with his ex isn't looking for anyone else. Unless you're eager to get your heart broken you'd be wise to run away from this sad little man as fast as you can. Staying in love with an ex is either the sign of a masochist or a guy who'd rather play but not stay. If he felt the same about you as you did about him he wouldn't give his ex a second thought. He'd be overjoyed that he finally found someone who could make him forget his miserable former girlfriend. Trust me, your Mr. Right is out there so please don't settle for this fool. He's a waste of your time and feelings.
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A
female
reader, neonpinkngooey +, writes (20 June 2007):
 I commend him for being straightforward with you. He seems like a good guy. It is nearly impossible to wait around for something like this. Give him time to straighten things out in his head. You can still be casual friends with him, but try not to involve yourself in his life too much. Otherwise, you may find yourself even more confused later on. I'm not exactly saying to wait around for him, but keep in touch with him. In the meantime, remember, there are other fish in the sea!
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (20 June 2007):
 Go with the head for now. He has been honest with you and you cannot change his feelings for now. Only he will know when he is over her and ready to move on. His ex maybe a player and that is not your fault but ultimately he won't be able to focus on you in the way you hope until he resolves this situation. If you keep in touch with him casually, maybe your heart can take over later on when he is in a better frame of mind.
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