A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:basically theres this girl that i get along great with i.e. we would tease, and playfight with each other. we pretty much find some way to text/fb each other everyday and we hang out whenever we can so in a way shes pretty much my best friend...the problem is that i've recently realised that we've done everything a couple would do besides the romantic stuff , i feel as though we 've gotten too close i.e. we would just look at each other and smile and i'm worried about where its leading to. she is on my mind constantly even when i'm doing something i.e. hanging out with my other mates. the problem with us going out would be 1) me and her are culturally/religiously different and i like her too much to ask her to change her lifestyle in anyway for me2) we distract each other as in when we are together we can't focus on anything else i.e. uni work etc so i think i'm just not what she needs3) i'm pretty sure her family would disapprove so i wouldn't want her to be in a relationship which isn't going anywhere4) she would probally get along better with someone from her own faith/culture that way everything would be much easier5) her worlds pretty small and i don't want to take her away from her safety net by risking it with me no matter how good we are together I can't stay just friends with her because i know i would be lying and she would probally guess so i think the best thing to do would be to just leave her alone and stop texting her or replying to anything before it gets any further and weirder. sorry for the essay but i need to write it all down
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all the replys. we are both from different asian cultures. i'm chinese agnostic, she is indian muslim. i'm not pathetic i just know that her family is a big part of her life so to ask her to forget about them just to suit us is a very immature and selfish thing to do which both of us are not. i already know that she feels the same way about me (she told me)and we don't have a clue on what to do about it thats why its confusing and i know if we did get together i will cause alot of problems for her..i.e. her family may shun her which i don't want to do as she is very close with them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): Hello,
I don't know what the culture differences are between the two of you but My bf and I are are in the same situation. He is white and I am asian and although we come from different cultures and religions- we get along fantastically well and that alone is what keeps us together.
Going by what you write its obvious that you two really enjoy each others company. You say that she would 'probably get along better with someone from her own culture' THat is not true! She will get along better with someone who is suited to her personality (i.e. you) not someone who shares common believes based on country of origin.
I say just keep hanging out together, its rare to meet people that you really click with and to let such a person go for such trivial reasons is a crime.
:-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): You are letting your fear envelope you. And to make it less pathetic, you are hiding behind your religion.
It doesn't matter what deity you worship, if any, or even how. What matters here is how you both feel. If you love each other, than to hell with your religious beliefs if they are a hindrance. To hell with you're families.
You are an adult. Grow the fuck up and make the choice.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, kristal faith  +, writes (15 January 2010):
 fight for what you feel for her!! just be honest with her.. perhaps she feels the same way for you..
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (15 January 2010):
 Go talkto this girl about her thoughts on a relationship and see what she says. Its not fair to just leave her in the dust with no explaination. You might find a way to make this work and if not at least the two of you can have a mutual understanding of this so no one gets hurt more then they have to.
Good luck to you.
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