A
male
age
30-35,
*lexES
writes:Sex vs LoveSex: Well just sex, no feelings compromised, no heartbreaks and a lot of sex stories, but maybe lonely when old. Its real.orLove:Caring for each other, the person you love, you liked becouse of her personality and her looks, you trust each other, you accept the other becouse of who he is, sex is part of the ralshionship and you work for make it better. Well ive never had a girlfriend so i dont know if its only a fantasy.Please some light, if love is just a fantasy please tell me, i dont want to wait for a lie.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, salvadda  +, writes (15 January 2010):
 Dear Friend
I found what u wrote not only interesting but intuitive. Taking ur age I found it to be also profound. It also struck me deep that ur sex is male. You strike me as very intellient person, and also mature to have such a though. I will give u my opinion regarding what u wrote.
For the first part part of ur letter.........
You are young there is nothing wrong with the first part of what u wrote. Plz keep in mind if that is the case u should be an honest man and make it clear to the person u r with. Things r differnt now, not like back in the day lol@ *back in the day* People are/can be more open and its ok to want sex without commitment, as long as u don't lead someone on to believe its much more. That is just hurtful.
So if thats what u want *go for it now* be honest about it, and have no shame in it also. But don't get use to it.
And most inportant of all Be Safe.
For the second part of ur letter.............
Please remember this is only my opinion. Beauty fades, and looks don't last forever. When u see beauty try to look deeper/beyond. Look inside. I know it sounds corny, but in fact it is true. You will also find that people change as they get older. What a person is like at 17, 20, 40 ect will also change with time. It's a fact of life. When ppl get older and r together things change. You talk about finding a g/f. that would be great. Though with this comes many commitments. Are YOU willing to give of urself when that time comes?
Yes it is very inportant to find some that is compatible. Everyone needs to be connected, and live in harmony, so the story goes. But it is not that easy. So many ups and downs. It is about urself really. Are u will give what it takes to find someone to spend ur life with? It can be done. I know this for a fact. In this day and age some ppl are finding it easier to walk out rather than stay together and work it out.
You will get old this is fact. To think down that road now my be too much for you. But try not to forgot it also. I do believe it is ok to grow old with someone and feel comfortable. To have someone sitting across the table from you, even if there r no words exchanged the comfort is there. It will surpass looks, sex, and boredom.
What I am saying is that down the your road, and its a very long and winding road. You will change and what is inportant to u may change. Keep an open mind because in ur life time you/can have both.
One more thing...You did speak of children, there's another thought. Buts not till your older days..lol
I hope u find what your looking for. Remember it is only opinion..Take care
Salvada
A
female
reader, confusedlady182  +, writes (15 January 2010):
Love is not a fantasy although it's not like it is in the movies or whatever.
There are many different kinds and you can have a very strong love but it can be bad. You can have something which doesn't feel like it is as passionate but is loving and caring and tender.
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