A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really like my best friends boyfriend. I have liked him for about 2 years now and never told anyone about it. We all had a few 3somes together at some point, and me and the boyfriend work together which makes me like him even more. My mate has never been happy with him at all and always moans to me about him as he is not a very nice boyfriend to have as he does not cuddle in bed, do not have sex anymore and loads more.We were all out on a works night out and i told him how i felt and he said he felt the same way. The next day he called me and he could not belive that i liked him as he thought i was just to good for him. We were seeing each for a while and we both fell in love with each other and i told him all about the people that his girlfriend has slept with behind his back as he knew all of them work. I only did this as he is a nice bloke and he deserved better. He knew all about her bad past that she has and was never shure to get with her. All the things that she tells me about him is not true as he is loving towards me and we cuddle all the time. Why they do not do this i do not know. She found out about us seeing each other and went mad at him and not me, this is only because i knew all the things i know about her. He confronted her about her cheacting and she said she has done nothing and he does not belive her but she will not tell him the truth and just admit it. She has now told everyone at work to get as many people to sympathise with her and they do, but they do not know the whole truth about what she has done. Now we have found out she is having his baby, and i think she did this on purpose to keep him. He did not know what to do as he loves me but wants to be a good dad. He cant handle knowing what she has done and that she will not admit it, he does not want to finish with me either as he loves me. He says he does not love her and that he is only staying for the sake of the kid but i am not sure as i know this must be a hard situation for him. Am i being selfish in all of this, i just dont know how he can be with a girl that sleeps around and she will not admit it, when he could be with me and be really happy as he even know how well we get on and that we always luagh together, He was never really that happy with her and does wish he finished with her but he must stay for the kid now. We are still seeing each other and i just dont want it to end as i do love him. We could of been really happy together and he knows this but he now feels really trapped and does not know what to do.
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at work, best friend, fell in love, threesome, trapped Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): Gawd, I feel sorry for you...lol, not really, you all are messed up, really messed up. Better you than me, lmao, have you tried the Springer Show, they give great advice for people like you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): youre aged 13-15 and have had threesomes?! dear god what is the world coming to. i suggest concentrate on your school work or something youre only young god knows what youll turn out to be when you get older
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (27 March 2008):
 I believe this young lady is the 'other girl' on the other thread, what do you think Aunties?
Let me get this straight..
These are a couple of your quotes:
''She found out about us seeing each other and went mad at him and not me, this is only because i knew all the things i know about her.''
''Now we have found out she is having his baby, and i think she did this on purpose to keep him. He did not know what to do as he loves me but wants to be a good dad.''
These are a couple of the 'other girl's' quotes:
''She found out about us seeing each other and went mad at him and not me, this is only because i knew all the things i know about her''.
''Now we have found out she is having his baby, and i think she did this on purpose to keep him. He did not know what to do as he loves me but wants to be a good dad''... blah blah blah
Could you by any chance be pulling our plonkers, young lady?
Sweetheart, If you are having genuine problems, we will all try and resolve it as best we can for you, there really is no need to post us a duplicate copy of the 'other girl's' message...
...a bit like what I have just done actually.
Naughty me.
Hope we can sort this out for you.
Take care. BigSis xXx
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 Be careful that you apply the same judgements to everyone here. You accuse her of 'sleeping around', and yet he also is 'sleeping around'... with you! Why should one be worse than the other? Simple answer: they're each as bad as each other, as much as you feel otherwise.
Something else to consider is whether the baby is even his, if she has been having sex with other men as you say. Maybe a paternity test is in order?
It also seems like the two of you (you and his 'girlfriend') are waging a horrible gossip war, trying to turn the various people you know against each other. That's a really nasty dirty business and you should try to stay above that. You'll both end up looking really bad in the end. That's a fight with two losers and no winners.
Lastly, be careful he's not taking advantage of you. All the things he's telling you are pretty typical of a guy who's looking to have some sex on the side... something that's pretty common, especially with a pregnant girlfriend around. He might be telling you what you want to hear to have sex with you, whilst having no plans on leaving his girlfriend. Put it this way, if he REALLY wants to be with you, he would leave her.
I suggest you give him an ultimatum: her or you. And if he doesn't make his mind up, it means 'her' (which trust me, it does).
For the future I also suggest staying away from threesomes and sleeping with other girls' boyfriends. As you can see from your current situation, it can get really messy and people can get very hurt (including their unborn child in this situation).
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 Gosh, this question sounds like you're in the the threesome group only a few questions down. What a coincidence!
Well, as you're only 13-15 years old, technically, you're underage for having sex, and could get this guy into really big trouble. Unless there was a mistake when you entered your age?
My advice to you is to back away from the situation for the time being, let him sort things out with his pregnant girlfriend, as being a new father will or should be his top priority.
Once you reach the age of consent, if you still want to be with him, and he is available, then you could pursue the relationship.
But again, for now, you should distance yourself from the whole situation.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, nessaboo +, writes (27 March 2008):
first i dont think you were wrong for getting with him i mean you guys shoudl have waited till he actually broke up wit her to get with eachother in that way because think of how u would feel if he did the same to you one day. second if shes sleeping around behind his back and is always with another guy then how do u kno that baby is really his???? third weather or not that baby is his jus because he is havin a baby with her doesnt mean he has to stay with her he can be a good dad even if they aint together. and the way how messed up they relation ship is it is jus gunna make the babys life harder if they dont trust eachother and they arent happy together than they are always gunna be fightin my point is one if shes a hoe sleepin around who knos who the babydaddy is and you dont have to stay together jus because they are havin a kid together if he really loves u and wants to be with u then he will realize it and if not he will be the unhappy one regretin wat he did u well then u deserve better!!!
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