A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a huge crush on a male friend that I met a few weeks ago. We have spent quite a bit of time hanging out together and we have great conversations, but it's never really flirty. He shows a lot of interested in me as a person, but never in the context of physical attraction. We have hugged, but that is it. There is an age difference of over 10 years between us, so I'm wondering if that is what's holding him back. Should I ask him out or tell him how I feel? Should I just wait for him to make a move and give up if he doesn't? Sigh...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): I am the person who originally posted this question and I have an update. Yes, he is older than me. This situation is driving me crazy! We hang out in groups. We have great conversations. He kills me when our eyes lock and he smiles. He hugs me every time we say goodbye...but he won't ask me out. Someone actually called me his girlfriend at a party the other night, and he just smiled and said: "How do you know she's my girlfriend?" We never end up alone together so I can actually talk to him about this and I don't want to do it on the phone or through email. I also don't want to scare him away, even if he doesn't want to date me...what can I do?
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (29 July 2007):
I am assuming that he is ten years older.
Having read some of the letters on this site you can never be 100% sure.
It is possible that he would think the age gap would mean that you were not interested that way in him.
You say that he is interested in you as a person so you must have some good and meaningful conversations together. Maybe it would be a good idea to explain to him that your friendship with him you feel is getting more intense and closer and how did he think about taking the situation up a notch or two?
Or ask him a question like "Do you think our friendship could work better if it was on another level? - maybe a closer or a more intimate one?"
He would have to reply in some way to that and it would be easy to assess where you stand after asking something like that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): the reason why he might not show and physical attraction could be that he might be scared that there is a 10 year age differnce. you should ask him out. you only live once
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