A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 16 and my boyfriend is 18 we have not been together that long but I am so in love with him and i would do anything for him. At the the start of our relationship I thought he felt the same way but I don't know if he does anymore because sometimes he can act like a dick. I don't want to lose him so I put up with it. Sometimes he can be amazing and I have spoke to him about it. Please help me this hurts to to to much. I just want us to be together forever. Thanks. :) xxxxx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (24 January 2011):
 Its very difficult at my age, 43, to answer your question without sounding like an old fart! Hey I remember being 16 and I remember the intensity of feelings I had for a certain girl whom I though I`d be with forever.
Of course things changed and we broke up, I moved on and had other relationships - most of them longer lasting and better than that one I had at 16. The reason? Experience. We learn, or at least should learn, from each and every relationship we have.
In your case, its really not my place to tell you this guy isnt actually "the one" for you, only you can decide that. The thing is though, he treats you badly, acts like a dick and has caused you to write us for help. Is that what you think happiness is? Trust me, its not.
You say youve only been together a short while and thats even more reason to think long and hard about whether or not you want to stay with somebody who leaves you feeling this way.
Forever is a long time, hell, ten years is a long time. In ten years, you`ll be a completely different person and ten years after that you`ll be different again.
Theres a real danger here that accepting something that isnt right and forcing yourself to believe that you cant live without it will define how you treat subsequent relationship and, in turn, that will affect how your partners treat you.
Like I said, I`m 43, an old fart. My advice is based on my life and my experiences although I`ve helped a lot of people with relationship issues over the years so theres a bit if that thrown in there too.
Cutting to the chase, you should end this one, learn from it and move on. That feeling that you cant let go and never want to does subside and every time you experience it with a different person it gets much easier to deal with. To be honest, if you are unable to let go in any relationship, you are a slave to it and you`ll accept pretty much anything thats thrown at you.
Sorry to go but I do know what I`m talking about here.....
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