A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'm new here trying this out in need of a lil advice. My boyfriend and I had a 3some this weekend with one of his friends. It was a long time coming. I think his friend is really hot. Anyways, during us doing it, I felt a different connection to his friend than I did my own bf. I don't know what it was exactly but I actually could see myself with him for a long time. It felt to good to me and I didn't want it to end. My boyfriend I think can sense how I feel because he keeps asking me about everything that we all did. And now I don't know what exactly to say or how to approach either guy. But I'm so tempted to text his friend. I am more intuned with texting his friend than my bf now. :(Just some good advice is needed!ThanksL
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all.
I had a convo with my bf last night and brought up how I had a good time and that it was fun when we had our 3some. He agreed. I asked him if he felt weird watching his friend and me do it. He said it was a little weird at first but he didn't mind. I asked him if it was something he wanted to do again and he said possibly and he also asked if we could try it with one of my friends and he named a few that he thought was hot. INCLUDING MY STEP SISTER!! But he was joking, I hope! I'd be willing to go there if my friends would. Maybe it was just a sexual connection.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2011): I don't want to give you a seremon, so I just say tell your bf how you feel, and leave him, and connect with the friend, if he feels the same towards you.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (14 June 2011):
 Are you thinking "connected" as in "I want to leave my boyfriend for this guy" or "wow, sex was fun, let's try that again"?
If its the first, you should really think about it. You don't break up a relationship or start a new one purely on the basis of sex, and certainly not sex in a 3some. I've been in a few threesomes (well a lot, actually) and a guy who is mindblowing in that situation may be ornery outside (the opposite is also true). One sexual encounter should not be the foundation of breaking a relationship and starting a new one.
If it's the second, you should still stick to threesomes rather than seeking out seperate sex with this guy. Threesomes can be enjoyable, a menage a trois where all parties are comfortable with each other is thoroughly enjoyable. Try not to let things go beyond that.
If you feel they already are, it may be time to end things with the boyfriend. But even if you do that, I assure you the "connection" you felt with the boyfriend's friend is unlikely to be more than a momentary feeling.
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A
female
reader, svf  +, writes (14 June 2011):
 This is the disaster of threesomes. Sometimes one of you start's to fancy the other party! This is one reason I don't agree with them, however, I am NOT judging you on this at all.How long have you and your boyfriend been together and who's idea was it? Don't do anything yet until you have talked things over with your boyfriend, as he is your partner and you owe him some loyalty. If things don't seem to be working out between you and him, you need to know why and work out if it has been like this for awhile or if it has been brought on by the threesome.However, if you still can't get his friend out of your mind, just be aware that he may have enjoyed it as much as you, but it may have just been 'fun' for him and he may not see you in the same way. ie: As a potential longterm girlfriend.You won't know until you have been able to talk things through. The other major problem is going to be that he IS your boyfriend's friend. The 3 of you involved in what happened will know why this sudden attraction has sprung up, but other's however won't - and you may get judged pretty harshly by all of your friends.Is your boyfriend's friend up for all of the stress and are you? Or is it just lust rearing it's ugly head? If you still can't get it out of your mind and the 3 of you want to get it on again, just be careful of the mental pitfalls, as you could be falling for someone and I would hate to think of you being heartbroken over it.If the other guy feels the same way about you, then PLEASE break it gently to your boyfriend. If it was your boyfriend who was pressuring you into having a threesome, then he was bloody stupid and has lost you. Either way, please take care and go gently. Sammy x
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