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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for 5 beautiful years, the first 2 of which was long distance, and we had been best friends 5 years previous to that. I have had difficulites with my insecurities and have often caused arguments in relation to them. Over last the month, I have been seeing a counsellor to help me get past these insecurities and myself and my boyfriend have seen the improvements. These insecurities have nothing to do with my boyfriend - he is the most honest and trustworthy guy ever, so it has been really hard for him to deal with me feeling insecure with him. Just as things were getting better, we had a stupid drunken night with horrible words said on his part, and ending in my punching him in the face. We were fine for the 2 days after that, even joking about my powerful left-hook! Then on the 3rd day he called me at work to say he didn't really want to be with me anymore. We are now in the middle of a week long break with no contact with me staying at my parents house and him residing at our place. He says he doesn't know what he is feeling and that he feels like there is this huge hole inside of him and he doesn't know what it is. He has agreed to see a cousellor this week to try and figure out what this 'hole' is and we have planned a date for Friday night to see how things have gone during our week apart. I'm just wondering - was that punch just the last straw for him? He knows i've been getting better about letting go of my insecurites, so I don't really know if that has just worn him down and now he wants out? I love this man more than anything, and I know he wants this feeling inside him to go away but he just keeps saying he doesn't know - i'm don't really know what to do! Any thoughts or ideas would be so much appreciated.
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at work, best friend, drunk, insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (20 February 2006):
you are probably right. the "hole" is most likely to be a feeling that he does love you and want to be with you but can't cope with your insecurities. you both need to sort out your individual problems then, if you both still want to be together then there is always potential for continuing and improving your relationship. good luck with the date!
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