A
male
age
36-40,
*an1987
writes:i had a relationship with girl,I have loved her more than any one can imagine,the greatness of that love has suffered me even i was with her, it was a love out of control,i can not really descirbe how it has been.I told my parents about fiancing her,i was blind becz of her love,my love to her controlled my life million % , she used to tell me that she loves me too,she used to tell me that will never leave me becz i am great person and rare and girls hardly find a lover as me.I trusted her in her speaks,and my love was growing and grownig till a degree thati could not hold it.someday I called her to tell her that i told my parents about her and they agreed about our relationship .from that time, i felt that she changed, she became more cold ,i asked her what happened to you, you are not that girl any more,she told me that she want to end up with me, she said she is is just a teenage wanted a relationship for fun and experience not for marriage.she shocked ,she killed hundred times in that time, i told her why why,i cried a lot in the phone,she just said she is sorry,I could not hold it,i wanted to kill her in that time or to kill my self.Believe me, from that moment, i ve changed totaly,i am not that person any more,i have been in a really real hell,i can not sleep,i cry all the time, even in the class, my tears are always in my eyes,I am very ver negative,I have no dreams, no ambitions, I used drugs so that i can stop thinking about her and stop getting nervous,believe me if i say that i feel great sorrow inside my heart, realy hurting sorrow, it like amy hear torn by a knife all the time,I can not forget her,i can not,She doesnt care about me any more, when i see her, i feel like i want to die,great sorrow,i know she doesn't love me but i just can not forget her,i ve met beautiful girls more than her in every thing, but all the time i just see her in every place i go or in ever girl i meet,my life is totaly destroyed,I am very worry about my self if some day i knew that she is going to marry, bece i will loose my mind for sure,i am sure about that,please help me I am thinking to go to an other country , far country so i can forget her,I am really in a situation that no one will desire it,i have not smile for more than years,I just suffer all the time,all the time, please help, help meThank you
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ambition, broke up, drugs Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): It's crazy because, women get that sort of treat from guys all the time...lying about they're feelings, lying about wanting a relationship...some ppl are just cold hearted. Looks as though you ended up with an ungrateful individual who took advantage of you because, you were too available and revealed that you cared and loved her too soon. The person that cares or loves the most ALWAYS end up with the short end of the stick...they end up getting used and take advantage of and the only thing you will walk from is a "I'm sorry" from the person who broke your heart and shattered your trust. Don't ever go back to this woman...I know it's easier said that done, but she sounds like a person who has trashy values.
A
female
reader, Priyanka09  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 Hey,
I can feel your pain from all that you have written. Its really sad and unfortunate she left. But I would say,it was not her fault. She was honest with you. Maybe it ended at the right time. She was not looking for a furture with you, and continuing the relationship would have only kept hurting you and nothing more. Now that you are out of this relationship for long, first step is to tell yourself, whatever happened, happened for the best. I am sure god has someone better in store for you. Dont destroy your life like this by depending upon drugs or other measures. You owe your life to your parents as well. If nothing else, study hard for them. Give your best in exams. Give your best to your studies. This is seriously not the end of the world. And somewhere if you keep crying for her, somewhere she will be happy she could give you this much pain. She is living in peace, so why cant you. You will have to fight back from the situation. Look at others, they must have had a teriible, tough life than us, and we cant even handle a single heartbreak. You still have to see life. Life will bring in many colours for you. But if you only want happy lucky colours in your life, then my dear friend, it wont so happen. Lets face this dull phase of life with a smile like we faced other phases. I am sure things will soon start changing for you. But for that, make an effort from inside. Dont wait for any miracle to happen. Make miracles happen and move on in life.
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A
male
reader, Itxi  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 It's quite simple, she could tell that your whole life was dependant on her. That is not healthy.
You need to be able to support a girl, and they can sense whether you are able to or not. You need to strike out in your own direction, you will love again and life is worth living. Go out and have fun, because you really don't need her for that, no matter what you think.
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A
female
reader, young house wife  +, writes (22 September 2010):
i am sorry for that to happen to you life is hard but you must survive you will always hurt but it does fade over time you need to find some thing to do go to a therapisit it is worth it. i read when i feel like you do i loose my self into my hobby. but just telling your self you are worth it life is worth it you have your whole existance to forgive and forget. try a vacation talk to some one constantly about how you feel you life will go on but you must open up heal and allow it to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): I am sorry for your grief. I believe that you can move on and the only reason you have not is because you keep holding on. You both were very young and you have not allowed yourself to fully mature. She was being honest by telling you she was not ready for marriage and it is possible that she felt overwhelmed by the degree of love that you grew for her as you say it was out of control. I recommend that you see a therapist to help you cope because you have spiraled out of control. You have used drugs to cope and that is a dangerous path. I know you can move on, because I did. I married and experienced the hardest lessons heartbreak can bring. Today I am happy and have the best relationship I never dreamed I could have. I had to wipe the tears from my eyes and realize I am strong and I can make it. If you begin to look you will see the good in the things around you. These are the things that make us smile. Memories, shared laughter, family or friends. I wish you the best
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