A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:[Mod Note: OP's Original Title]I'm a confused woman married for 15 years with 3 teenagers. I don't know which I feel for the most about my husband hate or love. He's an alcoholic (not a violent type) and I'm tired of being second to his alcohol. I'm also tired of the example he's set on my children. And I'm upset with myself, for having let this relationship go on as long as it has. Financially, I can't afford to leave him. And my heart tells me to stick around, I've put up with his behavior for so long, I might as well stick it out, til my children leave the house. I don't want to deal with this mess anymore, but I can't afford to live apart from him. We still get a long about 45% (sex)of the time, but the other 55% is torture for me. I'm even having feelings for another man, which I continue to try and fight off. How can I get out of this, financially we are struggling together, now w/out him, I'm afraid of how my children will be affected by our seperation both emotionally and financially. Should I stay or should I go?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): Dear ladywhat is the problem? why do you want to separate? i guess only thing i make out is that he drinks more and rest of things are just fine. separation will be lot more painful to all the family and you also and him also and all kids also. so my advice is that you should forget it unless you have very strong reasons for the same.try to deal with him on alcohol. I am sure that by the time he will reduce the alcohol.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): Tell him to get serious help for his addiction to alcohol, since his wasting money on the booze is destroying you both, financially, as a couple and as parents. He needs to step up to the plate and change his ways so he can do the best he can to support his family. Give him a couple months to see how it goes for him, and if he still hasn't made progress tell him you're leaving for good, if he doesn't stop. If he doesn't want to listen, tell him it's the new house rules and the kids aren't going to watch while he stuffs his face all day and night with alcohol. Make it clear to him that alcohol doesn't enter the house, even if he drank it somewhere else first..
The holidays.. Thanksgiving and Christmas are bad times of the year to hope for an alcoholic to quit drinking, but if he agrees to give it his all, and never touch the stuff, he won't care if it's a holiday or any other day of the year. Addictions are a difficult thing to escape from, so he'll have to either give it his all, or risk falling back into the cycle by touching even a drop of it.
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