A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help... I need some advice soon. I am a 25 year old married woman. I have been married about three years. My best friend since freshman days in college is a woman my age and married just about as long. In fact, we were each others Maid of Honor at our weddings. Both of our husbands travel extensively for work and are gone for extended periods of time. Since neither of us have children or family in the area, we compensate for things by hanging out with each other a lot.Last week, I had my friend over for dinner. After a few glasses of wine, we were both a bit giddy. We got to talking about how often we missed sex these days. She offered, and I thought she was joking at first, to give me oral sex. Then she began massaging me and really did! Now, I'd like to say I was drunk, but I wasn't. I'd like to say I'd said "no", but I didn't. I'd also like to say that I didn't enjoy it, but I did. After some time together, she had to leave. We made some vague promise to do it again, and that it would be my turn for her.I was kind of thinking that things might just pass, and that we'd realize that we just made a mistake. I got the following text this afternoon:"coming over at 7 for another boring evening. wines chilled. be sexy. luv x"Now, I know it's just replacement sex, and I can rationalize how it will keep us from pursuing affairs with other men. I also have never given oral sex to another woman, but I can keep this promise if I need to. Has anyone found themselves in this position before? I know I don't have to do this, but I kind of feel that it would be tacky of me, and ruin our friendship if I backed out now. Any advice?
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affair, best friend, drunk, married woman, oral sex, period, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): Notice how the only replies that agree with you cheating are males. You know why? Because the thought of lesbian action pleases them.So do yourself a favor and ignore the immature replies and do what you know is right.
A
male
reader, appliance  +, writes (25 October 2008):
I think it's wonderful... as long as the husbands don't know!What is so wrong with that?Your husbands don't know about it, and they're not there when you need them. It doesn't harm anybody, so go for it!Plus, if one of them learn about it, I think he will be turned on and will react a lot better than if you had been cheating on him with another man. And maybe he will realize that you need more attention from him. :)
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (25 October 2008):
 My advice would be to not do it.
Just because she isn't a man and there wasn't actual penetration during your sexual encounter doesn't mean that it is okay. Continuing to engage in sexual congress with your married friend could have disastrous effects not just on your friendship but on TWO marriages. Is this a burden you are willing to carry?
Tell your friend that after much thought you have decided that this was probably not the best idea and perhaps is a mistake. Let her know that you can still be friends but you don't want to destroy two marriages and a friendship over oral sex. Let her know that even it sounds tempting - you will have to pass out of respect of both of your husbands.
Sex of any kind with ANYONE other than your spouse is considered cheating.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, benefattore +, writes (25 October 2008):
 Stop cheating on your husband. That's my advice. You think it's ok just because she's your friend and it's not a man? You're more worried about ruining your lesbian friendship than your marriage. How pathetic. BACK OUT OF IT, tell her this is wrong, which it is, and show some respect to your husbands by confessing what you've been doing.
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