A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am getting a divorce because it was aweful marrage.I also reunited with a old flame from 12 years ago.he has had 3 really bad marriage and wants to take it slow with me and make sure that our kids get along his family loves me and has known me all my life. He is real hesitate and I don't know what to do. He just wants a sexual relationship for now because we live so far from one another but i do plan to relocate to him area. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): Dear Poster
You are going through a divorce and he has been married 3 times; all that is already enough reason for the two of you to take things slow;
Work through what caused the problems in your previous relationships and marriages; take it step by step; don't rush into a new relationship without establishing a good foundation;
Yes, it is important for the kids to also be taken into consideration and that is also why you should not just relocate; unless you are more sure about the future of this relationship; relocating can be very stressfull and is not easy on the kids either.
I don't understand why your relationship and how it can be "sexual" if you are far from each other; I would have thought it is more casual then sexual; as the distance must make it very difficult to have regular sex with each other; and if you are not committed to each other yet, then why have sex?
By having sex with this guy, he might never make up his mind regarding a more permanent relationship with you; you are making it very DIFFICULT FOR YOURSELF;
Instead of him missing you, desiring you wanting to have an intimate relationship with you; you are giving him sex;
NO, NO...don't do that to yourself...not if you are hoping for something more permanent with this guy; DON'T make IT ALL SO EASY FOR HIM;
I sugest you SLOW DOWN on the sexual side and start working on the bonding; the intimacy and then make love to each other; rather then to have sex;
He might make up his mind a lotter quicker and much easier if you give him the "rope" and space and keep a little "emotional" distance; Oh an stop the SEX.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (16 August 2008):
Relocate to somewhere you want to be. With great schools and job opportunities and fabulous night life.
If this guy happens to be in a place like that then great but don't go just for him, that just sounds the most stupid thing in the world.
If you are that desperate for sex then go and visit him or get him to visit you. Don't move your family.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (16 August 2008):
 How does a sexual relationship work if you are so far from each other? In other words he probably wants attention full stop.
I dont think i would relocate for sex no! Awful marriage or not. That isn't really relivant is it? This guys been married 3 times and wants some time single i guess. Not a bad idea. But i dont get why you cant get to know each other, see if you will end up going anywhere, before having sex?
Or is it just me. Maybe i'm missing something.
C xxxxx
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