A
female
age
51-59,
*llycat72871
writes:I've been with my husband for ten years, married for 2, just after the I do's I found out his secret fetish and now I don't feel the same way about him. I was so in love but I started finding porn mag's and toys but what's strange about this is they're all she-male movies and "stuff". At first it kinda turned me on but now at night he wear's my silky stuff and puts eyeshadow on and polish on his feet, this is not what I had in mind for a healthy marriage! He is not and never did cheat but I don't care any more if he did. What should I do? I don't even get aroused when he isn't doing his thing. I have no one to talk to and the stress is killing me. What can I do?
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (28 November 2009):
 Ton's of friends here honeypie.. we all want the best for you, we want you to be happy.
It was not kind of your husband to save his "kink" untill after the marriage, these things should be discussed upfront. After the marriage it is much, much too late.
One intresting question strikes me.. at first it was a turn on for you, but now it disgusts you.. what changed, why did you start to think that this was not "normal", whatever "normal" sexual behaviour is?
Yep, I get you.. gormet cooking, intelligent woman trying to be the best for herself and her husband. Answer why this stopped turning you on, why you became so resentful and I'm sure we will have better suggestions and solutions to help you.. You sound so angry and resentful, as if you give everything and he dose nothing. What would you like to change (apart from his kinky thing) what sexual desires and "kinks" would you like to try? What would be a perfect compromise to grow closer together, what could he do to show you how special you are to him?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): I was in the same position as you. I was going out with my bf for a year before I found out he was into dressing up. It caused a whole load of rows and I said some very hurtful things. It was the look on his face for a few days afterwards that made me realise he was still the same person. This shouldn't change him in your eyes. If you wear jeans, you technically are cross-dressing, or what about boy-friend style shirts and hoodies? Your husband hasn't changed, he's trusting you with an intimate part of his sexuality. It might freak you out but in all honesty, can you give a definite reason what's wrong with it? I've reached a compromise with my bf so maybe just talk to your husband? You shouldn't ask him to choose between it or you, you'll only end up making you both very lonely-once this aspect of his life has been opened, he'll never be able to turn it off.
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A
female
reader, allycat72871 +, writes (28 November 2009):
allycat72871 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsitting here now asking him kindly. Then getting angry that he has absolutley no respect or consideration for me why did this have to happen after the i do"s ? He doesn't care that i start crying ...in need of friend to desperatley help me . Yet embarrassed to tell anyone that i actually put up with it for 2 yrs already I need to shrug this sh-t i do everything gourmet cook, clean ,laundry 3xweek shop groceries handle the bills that go out, study and work can't I F-king get a break?
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (28 November 2009):
 If you love him, you should accept it. That doesnt mean being a part of it, necessarily, but I'm sure his fetish doesnt define him as a person; he is still the man you loved. Maybe tell him youre not entirely comfortable with it, but don't expect him to change - we can't help what we find arousing. It can be something he does in private, and you shouldnt judge him for it, but I would let him know that it wasnt something i shared with him, and I didn't really want to be involved with it at all.
You say you have noone to talk to - can I suggest talking to him?
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A
male
reader, mr motivator +, writes (28 November 2009):
Woooo
that is definately very creepy
i would reconsider my position if i were in your shoes also to be honest
maybe give him the ultimatum.... you or the transvestite scene
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