A
female
age
36-40,
*anadianhotass
writes:My heart is breaking into a million pieces, and its all my fault. i have been with my bf for over 4 yrs, and jus over a month ago i made the biggest mistake of my life. i cant eat, i cant sleep, i jus feel like dying. i work with the same company my bf does. and i love it, we dont see each other all the time or anything, i jus love knowing hes around. so i got asked out by a few guys at the shop, no big deal, said no, i have a bf. but were all friends so no reason we cant hang out. i was so stupid. first i jus went out with this guy jus for coffee and to talk. he told me his ex gf slit her throat n died, so i jus felt horrible for him and was totally cool with hangin out. then he started hitting on me alot, after a week. and i jus was flirty back, i never meant any harm, n then i started to KINDA like him. cuz he was so sweet, so i figured lunch would be ok, n it was but then he was pullin at my face n tryin to kiss me. n days went by n i kept jus saying n oi cant cheat i wont, i have a bf and i love him, and he started pinning me everywhere, against walls n cars kissing me, and i pushed and pushed no, but he kept going for it. so days went by and i never saw him, then he threatned me to go to my bf and tell him i was kissing him because i wasnt talkin to him. so i went to his house. jus to talk and try to clam the situation. and he sat on my chest n pinned my arms and i fought and fought, but not hard enough because i sucked him off. and i feel like fuckin dying jus typin all this, i cant stop crying. i hate this guy, i dont love him, i dont want to even talk to him, i jus want to be with my bf. so after i did that i felt guilty and took the guy shoppin to like forget bout shit, n tried to jus not talk to him he got fired during this time. so him and my bf dont see each other at work. but he knows where i live, he knows where my bf works, and he keeps threatening me to go tell me bf "what his little girl has been up to" and i jus feel so sick, i cant stop puking, i dread every moment. he says hes tired of being a used dick stick WHATEVER that means and he feels like telling my bf, and he says he gets what he wants when he wants it and nothing can stop him and i dont want him, i hate him so much for pushing me and i hate myself for breaking when he pushed. i dont know what to do, i love my bf so much, hes helped me more than ,my family or anyone ever my whole life, and i know he would never cheat on me, EVER. if i tell him he will leave me and i will die, ill wither up and dissapear, and if i dont tell him, this other guy might, and i want to tell him so bad, i cant eat, i cant sleep, i puke, im a wreck, i told him that the guy trieed kissing me and stuff, but i never told him about me gettin sat on n arms pinned till i sucked him off. im so upset. i have no one to talk to and i jus want to be with my man and no one else. please help me. im dying inside, i feel it. please
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at work, ex girlfriend, flirt, his ex, I work with, kissing, says he's tired Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): Print out what you wrote here, sit your boyfriend down, and have him read it. Hand it to him in person, and have him read it in person. You need to be there for this to work; definately don't send your boyfriend an email for this. I'm sure he'll be mad as hell when he finds out how this guy has been manipulating and using you. If he's any kind of man, your problems with this other guy should soon be over.
A
female
reader, lotsofgiggles123  +, writes (25 August 2008):
 3 things you need to do to stop this madness: tell your boyfreind call the police sue its as simple as that
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A
female
reader, xLovex  +, writes (23 August 2008):
I would agree with most of the other aunts here. It sounds like rape! It doesnt matter what the circumstances were you said NO and no one has the rights to make you do something with your body that you don't want to. If all he has against you is that you "kissed" him then you should just sit your boyfriend down and be 100% honest like you just have. You might feel that it is not an option to tell him but I garentee you will feel so much better to tell him. If he doesnt believe you is the relatonship really worth being a victim for? Your boyfriend, if it is really serious, will believe you and support you. As for the flirting every one flirts and it's harmless. If flirting always has to end up with something more serious I'm pretty sure nearly everyone in the world would be single becuase you just don't know how a relationship develops. I admire your courage and just how hard it must of been to just come out and say that but remember you have done nothing wrong and plllease TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND and decide on what you are going to do next. Mail me and keep posted xxxxxxx Gd luck
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (23 August 2008):
 You must tell him. This wasn't you fault and you shouldn't feel guilty for it at all! Your boyfriend will understand and be sympathetic if he's as nice as you make him out to be. I'm sure he'll sit there and hug you while you cry. He'll be your shoulder to cry on.
If you can't tell him, simply let him read what you've just typed here. It may be easier and less awkward and it means you won't end up in tears telling him.
Wishing you the best.
Hope you can fill us in on if you told him or not.
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): He sat on you and pinned you down? That sounds like rape to me you need to call the police on this guy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): You want to tell your boyfriend the truth, so just tell your boyfriend the truth. He doesn't have anything to "blackmail" you with if you just come out with it; the other option is to allow this to continue.
If you don't set boundaries for other guys, and they don't leave you alone, that's your own fault. You flirted back with him, you KINDA liked him? Sure you're flirting just to have fun, but if your boyfriend knew, do you think he'd be happy about it? Why are you doing this in the first place if you're in a serious relationship (and satisfied?)
I don't really believe you REALLY resisted hard enough; the kind of thing he's doing to you? You went to his house to CALM THE SITUATION? Are you sure you're thinking straight? You sucked him off after he pinned you? He pushed on you, kissed you? Are you sure you should be here and not your local police department? You can't resist this man, so you made a mistake, you're not just a victim here, demonstrate some willpower, make the next move.
You don't have a choice at this point. Your boyfriend finds out either way, so it's better he finds out from you. How long it takes for him to find out (either by this other guy telling him, or you telling him) depends on how long you're willing to put up with this other man's sexual advances. If your boyfriend is willing you can try and fix it later, but the most important thing is to take care of yourself right now. Respect yourself.
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (23 August 2008):
Don't feel guilty. You are the victim here. This man clearly thinks he has a hold of you.
If you told your boyfriend about the kissing and he understood, I'm sure he will about everything else. If he is a loving boyfriend he will support you. If its too difficult to say, write him a letter.
You should really tell someone, it'll make you feel much better confiding in someone. If not your boyfriend then a trusted friend. You dont have to suffer alone.
If you have the strength, report this man to the police. They will take you seriously I promise. Nobody deserves to feel unsafe.
Most of all, dont blame yourself. You have done nothing wrong and you deserve help and support.
Good luck
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): Hmmmm...
That's tough to handle, but why can't you tell your b/f?
Just explain and see how he reacts, i alway tell my b/fs the truth even if it hurts.. and get me chucked. But if he loves you he'll try and do something.
If it a bad answear just say i hate lies.
Keep strong!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): You should tell your b/f the truth. You knew what you were doing was wrong by putting yourself in that situation to begin with. You made a mistake and now you need to do the right thing and tell your b/f about this before he finds out from someone else. Why didn't you file a report with the police against this other man? It sounds like rape to me.
Good Luck, God Bless, and Endpornnow.com
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A
female
reader, loria +, writes (23 August 2008):
invite your boyfreind over and sit him in front of the computer and let him read what you typed for us I suggest you leave the house tell him you love him and make him promise that hell read it till the end no matter how hard it is. Good Luck and dont let that prick ruin you get a restreaining order on him ok
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