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female
age
41-50,
*ontstar
writes: im having a real difficult time. My partner and i have been together for three years, and i neglected him as im not high in self confidence and was trying to find myself, i have always loved him and he has always stood by me, we argue alot but i feel that was my doing as he was getting frustrated because i was blind to what i had and was going out with friends and not including him. Recently he felt pushed too far and id hurt him too much that he called it quits. I'm devastated and disgusted with my self for not seeing what i see now. I'm sick from it and dont know what to do. I have talked to him about it and he says that he loves me but hated our reletionship the past year. I'm so in love with him it hurts and i want to get through to him that im sorry and my eyes are open to what i was doing. It wouldnt be the same as before but i dont think he is going to give me that chance, what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): I am going through the same thing! I neglected him though because of his behavior. I handled my anger wrong by being distant, mean, just down right nasty. He finally left and I can't blame him. I just wanted him to open his eyes. We have to realize that this is not the key to communication. Problem is that he is done with me. Makes it very clear. I still am calling, begging, seeing my mistakes and admiting them, shamefully telling the reason why I did things that way. He doesn't see how if he handled things different - i would react different. It's sick - I hate him and the things he comes with. Yet I can't imagine life without him. I wish I told him that. And the funny thing is - I am still begging even though he can't see things from my point of view.
I wonder if our situations are similiar. I am a different person now.
One bit of advice I got in a fortune cookie the day I realized we were truly done ... ironic I know . . . Time is the greatest counselor. I only hope that time can also heal. good luck to you - I'm not giving up yet.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): you need to explain to him the situation, explain that you were having problems with your life and a relationship was just too much at the time, but u have sorted urself out now and no where u went wrong so would like to try again, don't be too pushy though, jus invite him over for a drink or something and explain the situation. if he is anything like me he will understand and accept
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A
female
reader, ingotblue  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 Just tell him what you have told us, with out sounding as if you are pleading.
Sit him down and tell him you want to hear how it was for him, you think you know, but now you are willing to listen.
You want to take his feelings in to consideration and know how selfish you have been.
Maybe if you are honest with you and open hearted then he will understand, if not then you have cleared your concience he knows how you are feeling and that will be that,
Good luck
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