A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need advice. I went away to the other side of the country last week and was at a bar with friends. I noticed an attractive man and he followed me outside as I was going to get a cab. We wandered the city together till the early hours. He came back to my hotel with me and one thing led to another but we did not go all the way. He seemed like a neat guy. The kicker is that he did not ask for contact info from me and I did not offer mine. I have been able to get his work info from the internet but I am really afraid to call him at work. I really would like to talk to him again but the fear of rejection is so strong....my former boyfriend left me for someone else. To be honest would he not have asked for my contact info if he was interested? On the one hand I feel like I am alive again but I am also terrified of rejection. I may have located a home number too but do not want to seem like I am chasing him...especially if he may not be interested. I asked and he is not married. Any insight and/or suggestions would be appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): You can't assume he isn't married just because he said he wasn't.
As for trying to call him, as I said before, if he really wanted to see you again he would have given you his number before leaving - or, it occurs to me now, he could have phoned the hotel and left a message for you at the front desk, assuming he knew your last name.
No, better to just leave it alone.
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 it all sounds abit one night standish to me, if you liked him why diden't you try to obtain his number as he was going. When you both left and you diden't have his number, and he diden't have yours, surely you must have realised you were never going to see him again.
You sound like you really like this guy, as you have got access to his work, i would give it a shot, what have you got to lose, he might suprise you and want to hook up. If he dosen't, well at least you tried.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): Yes, he would have asked for your phone number if he wanted to pursue things further. Or he would have given you his.
It sounds as though he was hoping to "get lucky" when he went back to your hotel room with you, and you most likely would never have heard from him again.
Don't you know how foolish it is to allow a total stranger into your home, or in this case, your hotel room? And what were you doing "wandering the streets with him until the small hours of the morning"? You were not thinking of your own safety. Now then: I'm not saying the man was actually dangerous, BUT, YOU NEVER KNOW.
The only good thing was that you didn't "go all the way." Lord knows, if you had you could have gotten pregnant, or caught an STD, you know.
You REALLY need to think about all this and avoid such risky behavior in future.
My final recommendation to you is to throw away whatever phone numbers you may have for this man, and thank your stars for a lucky escape. Forget this one, and LEARN from it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): Don't call him if he didn't give you his number after what appears to be a one-night stand. It may have been wonderful to you and helped you re-gain some of your self esteem over being dumped by your boyfriend, but my guess is, it was just a fling for him. Nothing more. If he wanted to contact you, he would. He already knows which hotel you're staying at. You say you asked and he wasn't married. Don't be so sure he told you the truth about that one, unless you heard it from several people who know him personally.
The best you can hope for at this point, is to return to the same place you were at when you met him, and hope that he might show up again and see what happens. He might welcome more time with you, or act like he doesn't recall who you are.
Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): Were you interested?...
Did you ask him for contacts details?...
If you get rejected, you will get over it (not the end of the world). If you don't contact him, you will never know. Honestly, he is a stranger, what have you got to lose!
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