A
female
age
36-40,
*xgirl_05
writes:Alright, well this is going to be long, but here it goes. A couple of days ago my boyfriend confessed that he indeed cheated on me with a girl and that she is claiming now that she is pregnant with his baby. The girl he cheated on me with was with her live in boyfriend for a year and a half, and that girl's bf left her when he found out she was pregnant. Because they "supposedly" tried to get pregnant for a year and it was unsuccessful.Well back to my story, I have been with my bf since mid January and he broke up with me once right before Valentine's Day and then the 2nd time, it was mutual. When I met him, he had just gotten laid off and his license was suspended since July of 08 because of a DWI. Well, he had a bit of money saved up but since he was unemployed, he didn't have money for us to go out. And well since he couldn't drive because of his license being suspended, I would drive to see him every week, at least once a week, and it was a 30 minute drive. Whenever we would go out, I would always pay. I'm a full time college student (I'm almost a senior) and I also work part time, so it's not like I have a lot of money to spend, but I didn't care because I cared about him a lot. He really didn't like us going out because he didn't have money, but I would convince him. He is my first love, I can truly say that because I have NEVER felt this way for someone before. I was pretty much a "prude" before I met him, as he would say, because I was still a virgin (well I still am). He has been the only guy I have ever done anything sexual with. Okay, so later on in our relationship he went through some tough times. He got kicked out of his old apt and had to move in with his parents again and he was flat out broke. I started giving him money every time I would see him, because he would have like $2 dollars in his wallet. At first, it started out small, I would give him like $15 but escalated to 50 bucks every time I would go over to his house. I would buy him beer if we went out, I would give him money so he could pay and so other people would see that he was paying and not I. I bought him shoes and helped him pay his phone bill. I did all of this without ever asking anything in return, because my mom taught me that if someone is struggling you need to help them, without expecting anything in return. If he was in need and i could help him, I was for sure going to help him. Well, he never gave me a bday present which was in early May, and he just recently got a job a month ago. Well, SEX had been an issue in our relationship in the past month or two ago, and well I would tell him to wait for me. But he didn't, because he cheated on me a month and 2 weeks ago ( around my bday) with an 18 year old girl that was living with her bf at the time of the affair. When I found this out, it hurt me so bad. Now he doesn't know what to do, she wants him to live with her and be with her. I asked him if he had feelings for her and all he said was "She gives me everything". But I've given him everything except for sex, which was why he cheated on me I suppose. He told me he was really drunk when it happened. But it's not an excuse. I don't know what to do? He doesn't know either. What should I do?He just keeps telling me that "she'll do anything for him". But I have done everything except for that! Again, what should I do?
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affair, broke up, cheated on me, drunk, money, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, txgirl_05 +, writes (28 December 2009):
txgirl_05 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank everyone who replied to my question, especially to bobbles32 and Quirklady. And also to the anonymous male readers. I have done alot of growing up during the latter part of this year and I am ringing in the New Year single and without any negativity. I thank God for the wonderful advice I received from y'all. I did alot of thinking and realized that I deserve alot more than that crap, all women deserve more. I've had another relationship since then but ended quickly, but this time I bounced back and I am happier than ever. Thanks again for the advice guys. God Bless. Have a blessed 2010.
A
male
reader, Vegnas  +, writes (4 November 2009):
Dump that cheating losers ass! You are way too good for him! You need some respect, returned love and the patience of a gentlemen. It's what you and all women deserve. I wish you luck and offer deep sympathy to you. Hope your road in life is smooth from here on out. Take care!
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (29 June 2009):
 Dump this loser. Dump him right now, right this very freaking second. You did a lot for him and this is how he repays you, by throwing it in your face and blaming you? He's not a man at all, he is a boy playing stupid games.
Honestly you ignored a lot of red flags here. Smart guys don't get DWIs and I'm pretty sure your license doesn't get suspended over just one. He broke up with you before Valentine's Day (I'd bet so he wouldn't have to get you a present). In the future, don't support anyone who has not shown love and respect to you, and who you don't know well enough to trust. It's one thing to support your friends and family through thick and thin, this dude started out thin to begin with.
I have a feeling that this guy started to lose respect for you when you would give him everything. People don't respect things they get without working for them. Now he does not respect you at all. Lose him fast.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (29 June 2009):
 Well, if the loser thinks that sex is the most important thing in the relationship then just let him go. Let it be a lesson learned that you should never pay for EVERYTHING in a relationship. It should go both ways, regardless of the amounts of money that each partner has..
If you stay with him you're just going to be in a big mess. You have "baby mama drama" and all that other crap. He's a shady guy and you don't deserve that crap.
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A
female
reader, txgirl_05 +, writes (28 June 2009):
txgirl_05 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe told me today that "I should have been taking care of my relationship with him and giving him what he wanted, and none of this would have happened".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): The reason he said she gives him everything because he is pissed you arent giving him sex however that shouldnt matter if he loves you.You are the one making the decision to not have sex and he should respect this.Instead he has gone looking elsewhere for it and if you had said that he could look elsewhere then its okay but im assuming you didnt so its very wrong.I would get rid of him anyway.With the pregnant thing its up to him what to do.He doesnt sound mature enough to handle a baby so i feel sorry for the mother of the baby if she decides to keep the baby as it sounds as though shes going to do it alone because this boy im sure wont stay with her.I think you have escaped a bad situation.Leave him and dont ever be forced into sex especially by this boy.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (28 June 2009):
dump him
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): Hi.......there is only one thing to do - leave him.
He has cheated on you repeatedly and clearly does not respect you at all - you can do so much better!
You are clearly a thoughtful and decent person.... and we only have one life - go out there, recover from this relationship then move on a little wiser.
I have been in a similar situation - i stuck around trying to see their good points and making excuses for them, but in the end i couldnt get over it.....and neither will you?..
Leaving a relationship is a big decision....but ask yourself one question - is this how you saw your life working out - being used and trampled on?....i doubt it is.... be brave and leave this relationship before you are hurt anymore. Take care and good luck!
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