A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem because i fell in love with a guy who thinks weed is bad and i need to smoke because i have nervous problems and severe depression and fibromyalgia pain all over my body. and when i smoke weed i dont feel sick or nervous i can eat and my pain is reduced.But how do i convince my boyfriend i need weed? I just wanna be honest i dont wanna hide it from him but he acts really strange about it ???
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female
reader, jls022  +, writes (19 October 2014):
I don't think you can. If he's really against weed and you are going to continue to smoke it, then that's a deal breaker. My ex used to smoke a lot for his back pain (self-medicated) and I left him because of it, partly because it's illegal in the UK and that could affect my career, and partly because it's no fun being in a relationship with someone who is always stoned.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 October 2014):
 If you live in a state that allows / tolerate marijuana for medical use - easy : rather than self prescribing, get a medical prescription of marijuana for chronic pain management. Your bf may still not like that, but, if it is doctor's orders, what can he really say.
( Btw : while marijuana is routinely prescribed and deemed effective for chronic pain management ,which I suppose would include fibromyalgia pain, it's another story for depression, in the long run. There are studies, one from Mayo Clinic , and others, which evidentiate a link betweeen heavy regular use of marijuana and severe depression. So, it may be the other way around- you are severely depressed BECAUSE you smoke so much weed . Just saying ).
If you live in a no weed State- it gets complicated. Eventually you may get to have to choose between keeping the weed and keeping the bf. It may be a clash of inconciliable values.
One one hand I totally commend you for owning your choices and wanting to be honest. You are not a naughty 13 y.o. and would be indecorous if you had to hide in a bush to smoke weed. You are an adult who decided what she wants to do and what's good for her ( or at least, feels good for her ).
You have to understand , though, that your bf is not obliged to approve, embrace or support your choices , and he has all the right to " act strange " about marijuana if he feels so inclined. Marijuana is still an illegal Schedule 1 substance in a lot of places.
Plus, sure you can convince him that you NEED smoking weed, that you cannot do without it, but this would be equivalent to convince him that you have an addiction, and it all depends how he deals with addictions , or people with addictions. Maybe he does not want to deal with them at all.
What I mean , is - unluckily there are tons of people with cancer, arthritis and other painful chronic conditions, and not all of them ( in fact, a small minority ) medicates through weed . So it's not precisely that you MUST , or HAVE to ,smoke weed, to manage your condition, because actually there are many other options you could choose from. What you mean is that you feel you CANNOT do withot the method you have chosen ( weed ). But you could, if you wanted.
So, I think that you can convince your bf that you have good reasons to smoke weed, and other than purely recreational, but not that you HAVE TO .
I think all you can do is- being honest and state your position. You feel you are reaping benefits from the regular use of marijuana and that the benefits are more than the drawbacks .And you do not want to have to hide your choices from your nearest and dearest.
At which point, let's hope that the nearest and dearest , including your Bf, sympathize and understand. But if they don't , it's not that " strange "- it 's a perfectly valid, reasonable choice as well.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (19 October 2014):
Take your boyfriend to your next doctor's appointment. Maybe a professional can explain it to him. He may understand it better.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 October 2014):
 First of all, even though I don't personally smoke it, I am sympathetic to your situation.
You may be incompatible in that area. First of all, do you come from a state that legalizes MJ for that purpose? And if so, have you been to the doctor and gotten the official legal permit for it?? If the answer is no, then you're putting your boyfriend at risk for a possession charge whenever you're with him, which I'm sure you don't want to do to him.
Second, even if you have the proper clearances and you DO have a doctor clearance to smoke, smoker's breath is one of the nastiest things there is, sorry to say. It's tough to be a smoker of ANYTHING, whether it's tobacco or weed, and be with a non-smoker. Do you vape instead of smoke, or consume weed in baking products or whatever? See what I mean?? Doctors in legal states can even prescribe THC pills or tonic as well for everything from fibro to red eyes. See what I mean? Having breath mints constantly will ease the issue, but isn't a cure if you're smoking for nasty breath, and I do mean REALLY NASTY!
If your boyfriend is the same age or slightly older than you, he's been Nancy Reaganized with the Just Say No message in his childhood years. He may understand that times have changed since the 80's, but if you're in a state that doesn't have legal MJ, then there might not be anything you can do to change his mind.
If you're not in a legal state, there are only two things you can do then if your boyfriend's mind is made up - either get help for your pain and depression within your state's legal boundaries (i.e. at a pain clinic or with your primary care physician) or you may need to find a guy with a compatible view regarding weed that you do. You don't want to lie and hide it...that is no way to live.
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