A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ug...I can't believe I'm even asking this. My GF and I are in our late forties...certainly old enough to not play games.My GF has taken a short vacation, for which I am happy for her. She works hard and deserves it. My concern is...On the day that she arrived (in a city where she's apparently never been) I talk to her on the phone in her hotel room (early afternoon). She says that she's going out for a walk and would `connect' with me when she gets back to her room. Here in lies my (repeat MY) problem...I don't hear a word from her until 7:00 AM the following morning...with a text message saying "Good morning darling". After calling her and getting a little upset, we started the whole texting back and forth thing...until we calmed down a bit. She said that I knew she needed time away. I honestly have no problem with that. She said that she met a nice family that was also in town and that's where she was...out having fun. She got back to her room and passed out from being tired (and from the wine I suspect). My last call to her room was around 1:30 AM. I know how loud hotel room phones are, because the wake up calls always scare the crap out of me. Now...is it just me, or is this a red flag.There is a trust issue, because she loves attention after she's had a few drinks (I guess most people do). She has occasionally let men cross the line, by kissing her, or dancing in a way that is very hurtful to me. We talk about it and she says that it's wrong. I know that she loves me and I don't want to let my mind start to destroy what my heart has grown for us, but...I don't really know what to think. I think my trust issues are more `how she reacts when drinking...and does she realize what men are doing', than anything else.Thanks in advance for your time.
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female
reader, OSCARS MUMMY  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 perhaps then shes having her cake and eating it, and it many cases is acting like a single woman.. okay i understand how you feel now but it seems as far as she is concerned you either like it or you 'lump' it?? On the next time you go out and she kisses another guy tell her its out of order and walk away - from what you say i dont think you can ever change her i'm sorry
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): IN RESPONSE TO OSCAR MOMMY:
I'm not on this trip with her, because i wasn't asked to accompany her.
What I also failed to include, was that this happens often. She travels a lot for business, and seems to `disappear' a lot. I know how she is when we're out together and she's had a bit too much to drink. If she's willing to let men kiss her in front of me, who's to say what she does when she's NOT with me...ESPECIALLY, if she wouldn't remember it the next day!
I'm sorry, but if your partner says that they will call, or `connect' with you under these conditions, you might be concerned as well.
Thank you for your reply.
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A
female
reader, OSCARS MUMMY +, writes (13 April 2009):
how come you aren't on this trip too?? You are sounding like a jealous maniac to be fair, let the poor woman have a qulity break - women can do that without having to stick our tongues down someones throats you know? Give her a break - right now the poor woman could be panicking deep down, thinking about what grief you will give her when shes gets back - you arent being fair to this woman, as you said she deserves a break! let her ring you, dont pester her - when she tells you what she has been up to show a genuine interest and be happy for her - that way she will want to tell you everything she has been up to - she wont hide anything. Let her think, wow my boyfriends happy for me and missing me and i cant wait to get back to him - not oh my god he will give me hell when i get back!!!! - please give this poor woman a break - go out and do things yourself while shes gone, goodness you arent teenagers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): Tell her your worries.
There worst can happen is that its true.. She did get a little carried away. But better u knowing and working it out together than stressing over it. You say she loves you well than im guessing she didn't mean to do it - drunk spare of the moment thing.
But don't worry over something that could be false. Personally I don't hear the hotel phone. - I always stay away from it..
Wait to she gets home, that way use can talk face to face. Use r less likely to get angry then doing it over the phone.
Hope I helped, and good luck.
X
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