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female
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anonymous
writes: What is the difference between love for a friend and a lover? If you're in love with someone but there's no lust then is it still the 'romantic' type of love? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, richierich79 +, writes (2 June 2006):
 I describe friendship as closest to lovers as possible without crossing the line of sexual touch. I think the only difference between a great friend and a lover is physical. Sometimes friendships bloom into love and lust, sometimes only one person has those feelings for the friend, but the true cross over begins when both parties have a lustfull and physical feeling they wish to bring into the frienship. If both parties do not feel the same way, you have a friend, not a lover. You can still love them, but you won't be in bed with them if they don't feel the same. Love is what we feel for those who take care of us and communicate well to us. You can love any one you choose.
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reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (1 June 2006):
 It's not easy to pigeon-hole "love". Each responder has given thoughtful answers, and if you consult philosophical works on the meaning of love, you're going to get an eyeful. I intend to answer your question, but I'm going to take the long way to it, so please bear with me.
Lately I have been looking at my relationships (familial, romantic, non-romantic, "casual") through the lens of the kindred spirit relationship. In this type of relationship two people share a mutual sense of connection otherwise known as "chemistry". These two people sense the connection immediately. You may have experienced this phenomenon yourself. But this connection is only one part of the kindred spirit relationship.
Over time, these two people grow closer, and the intensity of the emotional attachment each feels for the other is very high. While this attachment does not imply anything romantic or sexual, it does not preclude it. At this point, each person in the relationship probably feels that he or she would do anything for the other. I would argue that at this point of the kindred spirit relationship there exists mutual feelings that are some people characterize as "love".
The final part of the kindred spirit relationship has to do with distance AND time. I have friends scattered throughout the globe now. Of these friends, there are only a select few who share the following experience with me: It may have been months since we last communicated with or saw one another, but the elapsed time or great distance melts away when we make contact again. We just pick up where we left off. This is when you know that you have a kindred spirit relationship, because that original sense of connection and the intensity of the attachment endures over distance and time. Furthermore, fear has given way to complete trust that no one can touch this relationship.
Now to answer your question. I love all of the people with whom I have a kindred spirit relationship, male or female. At some point in each of these relationships I have experienced emotional attachments that could be interpreted as being "in love". I think that the kindred spirit relationship which turns into a romantic one is the ultimate loving relationship. It is one I hope to experience some day.
I am by no means an academic expert on the meaning of love, but like most people who come to this forum, I have experiences to share that might give you some insight. In the end you have to develop your own notions of love.
Take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): hello,there are two meanings of love and that is just loving someone or being in love.when you love some one you care for them be there for them when you are in love you also do the same but you get all these feeling eg,cant eat,cant sleep,your heart beats fast when u see him,your full of smiles when your with him that is how u know when your in love and what a great feeling that is
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2006): A friend of mine once said to me, "The opposite of love is indifference." That is rather broad, but I still keep that close since all these years. It keeps things simple.
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (29 May 2006):
 Hi my dear, I have answered a similar question to this some time ago. To be IN LOVE with someone there will be 2 types of love, erotic and phylios love. Erotic obviously being sexualm and/or intimate love and phylios is the love you have for someone which is not sexual, but a deep genuine love, eg you have this love for your mates, your family etc. If you are in love with someone but there is no lust it may still be romantic love because lust is about desire and want. If you see someone or something you like, then lust says " I have to have it, I want it and I desire it." So you can be in lust with someone and not in love. To be in love involves more than just the physical aspect, it goes a lot deeper, when you are truly in love, you connect spiritually, emotionally and physically. Lust is just a case of desire and urge anfd wanting to be fulfilled. The love you have for a friend is different because you love them as a mate but you are not IN love because you dont connect in all other ways. I hope I answered your question. xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2006): I agree with Yos and Phoebe. Some people say hate is the opposite of love, but I think it is actually fear :)
Anonymous, I graduated in Philosophy and I'd have to disagree that Identity Theory is widely accepted as being true! ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2006): if i can take a more sterile approach to the problem (sorry!!) there is an approach in philosophy called "Identity Theory" which states that for various logical and factual reasons (which are now pretty widely accepted as being true) all mental states/ processes are in fact reducable to physical properties. Given the validity of this argument the scientific answer to your question is that "lust" is an individual in one PHYSICAL state, and "love" is just an individual in another PHYSICAL state. there is no great metaphysical mystery behind it - its not some great beautiful fathomless concept which we are either blessed or cursed to feel, it has nothing to do with the mind (as the mind and everything mental is just physical) it is just a cold empty physical property.
If you "love" someone and dont know how to deal with it then thats because you cant, any more than you can deal with a cold or a brain state just by willing it to be so. you just have to be in that physical state until you are physically caused to be in another physical state.
its quite a bitter reality isnt it! sorry :(
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reader, Yos  +, writes (29 May 2006):
 A simple definition I like is:
"Love is letting go of fear"
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female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (29 May 2006):
 Dear Reader,
love can have nothing to do with lust. They are two seperate things. Let me explain -
Lust - the urge to be with someone physically, like touching them etc.
Love - a strong feeling for them. not to touch them, but an urge to make them happy, be with them every moment of the day and never make sure they get anything less than perfect. To really care.
In love without lust is still romantic. Saying love without lust is like saying - if someone gives you a big boquet of red roses, it isn't romantic unless they kiss you afterwards.
Help?
All The Best and Blessed Be,
Phoebe
xxx
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