A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know its selfish, and ignorant... I have no troubles with women, and i have ran in to the problem. Well, she is cute, funny, and has what this guy wants. the problem? Her boyfriend... She has told someone she likes me, and she almost came to a party with me, but she was afraid she would get kicked out of her apartment, and the next day she said she really wished she could go back and go with me. Anyway, her signature on her phone is "broken". she told me her heart, and eaverything is broken. She has come on to me rather strong. I like it. I like her. I am pretty sure she wants to get rid of her boyfriend, She mentioned that as well to my friend, but ugh! How HOW HOW do I get this one pulled off? Sorry to be so un-ruley writing.. But really desperate to know... Thanks guys. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 January 2012):
 There is NOTHING you can do to get rid of her boyfriend till she is ready to do so she won't do it.
the question then becomes if he thinks all is well and good and then she dumps him... are you going to trust this person to not do the same to you?
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (3 January 2012):
Hi there. Unfortunately, no matter how much you like this girl, the decision to end that relationship is up to her, and no-one else.
Even though she is still with him, and she likes you, she still stays with him, doesn't she?
So why does she stay with him? That's an important question for you to consider.
Perhaps it is that she feels that relationship is going a bit stale, and so she is looking for something else to make her life a bit more fun.
And so you are that bit of fun.
Yes, she probably does like you a lot, but does she like you enough to end the relationship with her present boyfriend?
It's a bit like a woman who is married, and feeling a bit bored with her life and is looking for an escape or an outlet. Whatever you want to call it.
And she meets someone who is attractive and she likes them, and wonders how it would be with that guy.
What it really depends upon is what the status of her relationship with her boyfriend is. Whether it's generally good, and they recently had an argument and so she's a bit angry with him right now. And you happened to be there. Like a scapegoat. Someone who is fresh and new and exciting.
Is it possible that she could be simply going through a rough patch like most relationships do at times, and you met her at a particulary vulnerable time?
Without really knowing all the facts of her situation, I can only guess at what is behind all this.
As much as you feel you would like to sabotage her relationship in some way, to remove him from the equation altogether, ultimately you would probably live to regret that action. So I wouldn't advise you going down that path at all.
After all, if you were him, you wouldn't like it if that was done to you, would you?
So that leaves you fairly limited at the moment, in what you can do.
Even if you were to take some drastic action to come in between them, there is no guarantee that it would end up happily for you and her anyway. So as you can see, it's a very big gamble you would be taking, and still you may not have her in the end.
You could find that you didn't get along as well as you first thought. You might also find that you had nothing much in common.
If you do like her, which you seem to, all you can do is be friends only and bide your time until if and when she does become available.
It might happen, and it might not. How long are you willing to wait for her? That's another consideration.
Supposing she did take the gamble and end it with him to be with you, what if it didn't work out? How would you feel then?
In actual fact, it's a gamble for you both.
On the other hand, had you both met when she was single and available - and you were also - it would be a whole different ball game.
In any case, time will tell what is meant to be.
While you are waiting though, make sure you don't sit around waiting and hoping and praying that she will give him up for you. Don't stay home. Go out and enjoy yourself and see your own friends. Life is too short.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2012): You don't get rid of the boyfriend, that is something that she has to do herself. Why the heck do you want a woman who is willing to hit on you when she is still with her boyfriend! Chances are if she is willing to do this to him, and you succeed in getting this woman, she will do it to you, so why would you want to put yourself through this?
Until she breaks up with man herself, you can't do anything. She can say whatever she wants to your friend, but until she does something about her current situation with this other man, she can't be with you and can't really want to. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I am being honest.
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