A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My foreskin is really tight and it hurts when it's pulled back. had this problem all my life. yeah i know, see a doctor right? well it's bloody hard to do that for a few reasons:1/ I'm embarrassed.2/ I can't bring myself to say what the problem is to anyone's face.3/ I'm scared of having an operation.4/ I'm scared of hospitals (infections etc.)5/ I'm scared that if I do go through with it i wont last long in the bedroom.6/ I'm scared I'll get a hard on when the doctor is checking it.and to top it off, my girlfriend is pressuring me to go. its getting me really down and i dont know what to do. I need to get it sorted but i've never been so scared.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah thanks for choice of words star. and to tell u all something i'm fine having sex. its just hand jobs that hurt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): i think if you did it she would be pleased for you, rather than the guy who didnt do anything about it....
waiting for the next girl is wasting time - you could be fit and ready for action for the next one instead you are going to go -" hold on, get your knickers back on, i need to see a doctor..." when the time comes...
Anyway you made a big step to get that far. be strong.
Star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I guess it is a lot harder going on my own. was a lot easier when I was doing it for the one I loved (still love), but now it's like theres no point. i know, do it for myself, but i was waiting for the right girl to help me through it because i always knew i'd never be able to do it alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): well i think it takes a lot of courage to even talk about these things, so at least you know.
ok running away was kind of difficult i know. you will have to have done some time i suspect?
But think of all those cute nurses...who will have to make sure are fine.
Be strong they do this everyday.
good luck,
Star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit was basically just an appointment to talk about the problem. and he said what i'd have to have done which is have the whole skin off. but i couldn't even show him when he asked to have a look. i just can't do it!!! and the thought of not having the skin there freaks me out as well. but i just dont have the strength to go through with it and i just get all emotional even thinking about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009):
Its your choice - you had gone so far. What did they say?
Star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwent to the hospital, but couldn't go through with. just couldn't do it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): Thats good news - if you think about it - after the 12th you will have a much happier sexual experience at the end of it, which means you will be a better/stronger lover than before - the shame here is the girl who could have stood by you for this, has walked... hmm now who is going to miss out?
Star.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, got a phone call today. 12th may 11am is the dreaded day. also my ex is treating me like s**t but doesn't realise she's doing it. never felt so low.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok. i went to the doctors and he told me i'll have to go to the hospital to have the skin removed!
i'm now officially scared out my mind and still hurting from my girlfriend leaving me. i dont want to do this alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont want anyone else. I love her so much. she said she felt the same and she never loved anyone as much as she loved me. she told me she wanted to have a family with me, the whole deal. she just said she doesn't have time for me anymore. i dont know what i'm going to do without her. i'm so heartbroken. i've been crying all day, even in front of all my mates which i never do. i'm crying my eyes out writing this. i really dont know what to do anymore. why does this always happen to me????? i cant belive this has happened.
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female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (6 April 2009):
 What?! Forget about her, you should still do this for your own comfort. Better to get it done now than go through the same ordeal with someone else.
I hope you're doing ok. What a witch to leave you now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionguess it doesn't matter now. she broke up with me.
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female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (3 April 2009):
Yay! Good for you! I promise that when this is said and done with, you'll be like "Why did I not get that done sooner? What was I thinking?"
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust booked an appointment for tuesday.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): Good for you and the right answer - it wont be as bad as the butchers in your head.
Star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have to. I promised my girlfriend I would. just scared about it.
anyway, thanks again to everyone. will let you know when i've gone through with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): so you think more people get sick then get cured at a hospital? (doesn't sound right does it) or is that just media hype?
you probably wont be on drugs for this. And lets face it the side effects aren't mandatory they affect a percentage small therefore they have to be listed.
go get it sorted - its a lot easier than thinking about how bad it will be. My view is you think about these things they never come out as planned...
star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthey also have made people worse with the amount of viruses etc that are there. not to mention all the side effects of mediations.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): really you have two choices - either leave it or get it sorted. if you leave it then you wont be embaressed but it will hurt forever.
or go to the docs have a slightly emabaraessing case for 5 mins (and lets face it the docs have seen a lot lot worse). Just go and get it sorted. Stop thinking... they can sort it believe me its nothing for them.
you could ask to see a male doctor (or if prefer the cute sexy female one)
why scared of hospitals and doctors - just go. they make people better....
Star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust want to thank everyone for replying. especially jessica, you helped loads.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): Learn what you can about phimosis before going to the doctor. Here's a good article about non-surgical treatments for phimosis:http://www.cirp.org/library/treatment/phimosis/I'd also suggest going to www.cirp.org and doing a search of the word phimosis to read the other articles there.Knowledge is power.
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male
reader, CrazyMind +, writes (1 April 2009):
 On pressing 'Add Your Answer' I spent some time wondering if I should tick to post anonymously or not. I decided no. It shouldn't be something you're embarrassed about.
I'm not sure exactly what your problem is - I can't see your penis, but I'll let you know some things.
You don't have to be embarrassed. Yeah, I was at first, but you should just go to the doctors. Myself, I went alone - nobody knew I'd booked the appointment, and I just said I was going out. But, as your girlfriend is pressuring you to go, taking her along may be a nice thing.
When you see the doctor, and they ask what's wrong, just say something related to the penis. E.g. "I think I may have [insert penis-related medical problem here, e.g. phimosis]" they may ask why you think this, and give a brief explanation of the problem. They'll then likely ask if you mind them having a look. Drop your trousers slightly, and when it was me, the doctor didn't touch, but asked me to move things around, etc.
The doctor can then let you know what your specific problem is.
About being afraid you need an operation, etc.; you should be able to discuss how to fix things with your doctor. They may mention the word circumcision (if you're not circumcised) but don't immediately run away! Ask if there are other possible solutions - if your foreskin is too tight, there are steroidic creams that can help with this, or there's a method where a balloon is inflated, causing the foreskin to stretch - making it looser.
The simple answer is, get some balls, and do just go see the doctor! The sooner you do it, the quicker your problem can be sorted.
Also, until you see the doctor, I'd advise avoiding any situations where you'll get an erection - just to make things easier on yourself; and also if you are damaging things, you'll damage them less.
- Crazy
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (1 April 2009):
I believe this is called Frenulum Breve, but the name escapes me, even the spelling, sorry.
1) This is very common, not so much in the states because we circumcise boys, but if you look at general statistics for the UK you are far from being alone.
2) You don't have to tell anyone but your doctor. Go to your regular family doctor, the one you see for basic check ups. Depending on his experience he might refer you to a specialist. So 2 people max that you need to tell.
3) To correct this problem, it is barely an operation. They just cut a snip of the foreskin to help it open up in diameter. It is a minor outpatient procedure that, from what I have read, is done with local anesthetic. It's not even nearly as bad as a circumcision, which they do to babies with no anesthesia.
4) You will likely not even see the inside of a hospital. This will most likely be done at an outpatient clinic, sometimes located right in your doctors office.
5) Because they are only making a small cut into a small part of the foreskin, your risk of nerve damage is extremely low. After you have properly recovered, and after you have tested to make sure that the foreskin pulls back over the penis without pain or great effort, I have a feeling you will be much more pleased with the "real" results (pain free sex).
6) Though I don't know proper procedure for this kind of consultation, having a hard on may very well help the doctor assess the true extent of the problem,since he will better be able to see how tight the foreskin is. But I wouldn't worry too much, he has probably had far more embarrassing things happen. Every time I go for my "Lady exams" I am terrified I will pee all over the gyno. I never do, and I always make sure I go to the bathroom before my appoinment, but I am still petrified of it. It's just one of those fears you have to face. I'd rather have a normal reaction to stimulus than pee on a doctor, but that's just me.
I hope this helps. But really, you stand a much greater chance of being happier if you have this taken care of. You aren't alone in this, and certainly not the first case like this your doctor will ever have had, and far from the last.
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