A
male
age
51-59,
*adman111
writes:hello again ,i am posting an update to a question i listed 6 weeks ago ,i have attached it on the bottom if you would like to read first .it has been a very rough 6 weeks ,we seem to be getting along much better and she seems to be slowly letting what happened in the past go.although it is no where near where i wish it was ,for instance we still do not live together and i am staying with family as i am still hoping for a resolution and wont completly move my stuff out and get a place of my own .a few things that i have a problem dealing with ,if someone can shine some light on it for me ,for some reason she still dosent want me around much ,we see each other everyday at work ,we do go out a few times a week and have a nice time and dont really discuss our situation.i am still not included when she goes to visit her grandchild which i made clear i would like to be a part of but shye just tells me she is going to visit and not ask me to go .i told her i think that this is rediculous as most of the problems that we got ourselves in was because we always wanted to be together but couldnt ,now with her children grown we can be together all the time but she dosent want to .i still want to mend the relationship with her younger son that lived with us but that has not even been mentioned for 3-4 months now .what really bothers me inside is that she has been doing some repainting of rooms ,changing things around and getting new stuff for the house without letting me in on it .i havent been there but when i ask her what she is doing she is reluctant to tell me as she dosent want to make me feel bad ,but yet she has no problem doing it.thats the part that hurts me bad. I hate the situation the way it is but she seems still to be ok with it ,i just want to go back home,continue with the life we planned for and show her i know all i have done wrong ,and over the past 8 months have changed .what do you think??HERE IS MY ORIGINAL POSThttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/lost-my-girlfriend-lost-my-whole-world-what.htmlsorry in advance for the poor spelling ,puncuation and length.i have been with my girlfriend for almost 7 yrs now.we fell madly in love at first sight when introduced by mutual friends.she was divorced with 2 kids .i tried all i can do to be friendly to them but due to their bitter father all he did was run me down when they were with him so they never were able to form their own opinion of me so needless to say they hated me from day one .we both tried and tried with not much sucess .i had my own apt and she had her own house ,i was made to feel not welcome there so she spent more time staying with me at my apt when her kids were with their dad.after a while he didnt want them to come any more so she would get a babysitter on weekends so we can spend time .our love grew but the kid situation didnt .we spent the next 3 yrs that way when we deciced tha we were going to get our own house together .her older son went to live with his father and the younger one stayed with us it never got any better between us and basically didnt speak or be around each other we were still very much in love but i was getting bitter ,i made rediculous demands that she agreed with in order for us to stay together ,throughout this time we both had family issues we had to deal with, how we got through them i dont know but we did ,she was there for me with mine more then i was for her,things were starting to get bad with arguing and i was full of bitterness myself ,that went on for a year with her trying to tell me how i was being but i didnt listen i was wrapped up in all that has happoened in the past and couldnt let it go.six monts ago she asked me to leave the house so she can rebuild the situation with her childern and us,i was devistated but left , i stayed with my parents and for the first time i realized what have i done?we didnt talk for about 2 weeks then started talking again ,spending time and discussing out situation ,i went to speak to a councler for my anger hand made much progress ,over the last 3 monts i have seen a change of heart in her ,very cold ,distant ,unaffectionate,it was aparent so i asked her about it ,she said that i have hurt her so bad that she has nothing inside ,she dosent smile or laugh ,i realize i love her more than anything and told her, she told me that she dosent love me like i love her,she still calls me and we do go out but nothing like it was .i feel anymore that i am not a concideration to her ,as the time goes by she is getting more distant from me .i feel after all that i have done to her and she stayed with me i am not giving up on her and will show her how sorry i am and the changed man i have become and be here for her while she goes thru what she needs to ,we never cheated on each other ,physical violence or even went out without each other ,i feel i have lost my whole world ,what am i to do ,thanks AND MY FIRST REPLY thanks for the replies ,right now i am giving her space,im not pushing anything ,we see each other daily at work plus she calls me every night,if we do go out i wait for her to suggest it ,and she does,it seems that she is spending most of her free time with her son and his new baby ,which makes her happy which is good ,but she dosent include me in that at all ,i dont know why, she did once then it all drastically stopped ,like many other things in our situation .for anyone wondering, i know that there is no one else either one of us wants to be with,no one else in the picture on either side ,that is the only thing i definatly do know .it just seems oue situation was better when she first asked me to leave and we were trying to work out our problems now there is no discussion of our situation at all even though its the only thing on my mind i dont say a word .i just wish we can get back to tring to repair our relationship insted of doing what we are doing ,thanks for all your help in advance
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