A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am so upset by this so please no horrible answers.My ex friended me on facebook-i hadnt seen him for 4 years-it was to tell me he had got married.We were due to get married but it ended really badly because he barely showed any love or care-i only started seeing this after we were together.Anyway he said I couldnt have any of the house we had even though I paid in as the mortgage was in his name but then he started emailing me snaps of his new bigger house!He's on facebook all the time bragging about his marriage adding loads of friends-all the mutual friends we had didnt want to know me anymore which really upset me.How can I deal with this its like he's rubbing my nose in the fact his life is great and how happy he is etc.How come he has changed or as he? and why does he need to brag so much? Am I better getting rid of his so called friendship??
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou all
i know i have been a pain but mentally i have been torturing myself
you guys are right and your advice is spot on
thankyou all for listening to me again i sooooo appreciate it xxxxx
A
male
reader, duce00  +, writes (7 November 2009):
 I understand your position very well because I have been there too. For myself and maybe you too, it is hard to extract yourself from the relationship completely because you romanticize the good times in the back of your head. People who are narcissistic survive on other people who are prone to that foolish thinking.
My method for undoing my own foolish behavior with a narcissistic woman can be put in a nut shell by the same quote Baby Duck used: "Living well is the best revenge". I actually have that quote on my wall.
You can control what you think and feel by doing things that put you in control of your life. I don't get off on revenge per say but I do believe that if that is the motivator for improving yourself and becoming independent then so be it!
By the way, I am betting you get married and have a wonderful life after all this while he gets burdened with alimony, attorney bills, and a life of burned bridges.
GET BUSY LIVING!!
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (7 November 2009):
 I also remember you posting this question before. I know you are upset about this but there is nothing you can do. He is going to type what he likes on facebook - its probably all grossly exaggerated anyway and you can't stop him doing this. People who bragg are not popular with others long term and people tire of reading about other peoples so called success. However none of this helps you. YOU have to remove him from facebook and stop looking at what he is doing. I know it really hurts but he is married to somebody else now so it is time to let go and walk away. You are concentrating on him far too much. I was once very much in love with a chap and I thought I'd marry him but we lost touch. One day out of the blue he rang me to tell me that he had got married. Yes it hurt like hell. It reminds you of all the things you did and what you were hoping for. Have a good scream and shout, stomp, throw things, ping your wrist with the elastic band , tire yourself out and then let it go. It is time for you to meet someone new.
If you feel strongly about the house and you can prove you made payments towards the mortgage I would go to a solicitor as you may well be entitled to something. The pictures he is e-mailing you may all be fantasy anyway. If he is behaving like this I am not sure I would want to be his wife as he doesn't sound like a very nice person. You mention you didn't marry him because he failed to show any love or care so he hasn't changed and you are best off without him.
Honestly it is now time to move on, cut him off today for ever. All the very best,
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