A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunt. I am 4 months pregnant and my boyfriend is not taking my feelings into consideration.All he wants to do is go out all the time and wheb I tell him I don't want to go and that I am staying home but he can go he gets angry and says hurtful thingsAs well as says I am controlling him. This baby was not planned and I am still getting used to this situation and he is making it hard on me. I don't know which way to go anymore or what to think.When I try to speak to him about it then he always jumps my thoughts and never let's me tell him how I feelIf he does give me a chance then I am still wrong even though I am not but I don't say anything about it.He is happy about all of this but the only problem we are having is about the going party which is happening every weekend.Please help. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): My ex-boyfriend was exactly the same. He actually got worse once I got pregnant and started staying out all night. Is your boyfriend happy about this baby? Maybe he just needs to get all his partying out of his system before the babys born. Maybe hes regretting the situation. Either way you need to talk to him.
I ended up a single mum but am now with an amazing guy who treats my son like his own. You may have to accept that hes not ready and that you and the baby would be better off on your own. Im not saying its easy, but personally I think its better than bringing up a baby in an argumentative environment.
I really hope it works out for you and he realises that you need him right now and that he cant just think about himself any more.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (7 November 2009):
 He is probably a bit too young to be settling down? Trouble is, its too late for that now! He will still need some him time to do what he wants with his mates though, middle age men would be the same I expect, so cant you guys come to a compromise? I think partying every week is a bit over the top maybe, but going to the pub once a week or a party once a month is reasonable? Afterall he is still young, and you dont want him running out on you if he feels he can never socialise with his friends.
BUT, the same goes for you! You need some you time too. Maybe once the babies here of course. The joys of being a couple when you have children is that you each can have some you time and the baby will be safe with the other parent.
Strike a deal where once a week on different nights you both go out with your friends, and of course get the grandparents to sit, so you can both go out together sometime during the month too? But at the moment, its you thats pregnant, and he's not going to give up going out completely, its just too much to expect, and if you dont feel like going out, thats your choice isn't it? Once the baby is here, I bet for a while he wont want to go out, he will be too into this baby! Ive seen it happens lots, even with the young guys x
...............................
|
