A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like i've gone through this with my boyfriend a dozen times,we've broken up because of trust issues mostly from me. We want to be together but find it hard to stay together happily. First off we went out for 1 year and broke up for 2 months he got a gf (it lasted 1 week with her)and when him an i got back together i broke down when i found out. He says he wasn't sexual with her only kissed,i guess i believe him. Now its been 4 months back together and i cannot forget his ex i always feel like she'll make him go back to her or think he talks to her behind my back. He tells me he'll never ever hurt me,i just always doubt him and come up with silly assumptions.Another thing is i always get so jealous when he goes out with his friends thinking he will cheat. He isn't a flirt he can get shy with girls but its the girls i don't trust,you know most are evil. He's made it clear that one more argument and its over because he says he's sick of this. I always ask him where is he,with who over and over. When he stays quiet on the phone i feel like he's messaging a girl. We argue on special occasions everyday,I know i sound like a freak, but i was never like this in any other relationship, and i really want to stop. He tells me he wants to marry me one day, i want to believe him on everything so that this can work :[ . I've considered therapy but i don't know how to go about it, but is there a way to just stop without going to therapy? help please
View related questions:
broke up, flirt, got back together, his ex, jealous, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xAx  +, writes (3 January 2010):
 I think what you need to understand that he was with the girl when you were broken up, so he didn't cheat on you. Give your boyfriend a chance to prove himself. Try to relax yourself and be positive. Only use things against him if he actually did something wrong. Don't make a bad deal out of something without evidence. If you feel like your insecurities are trying to take over you, divert your attention to somewhere else. For example, my boyfriend and i were speaking on the phone earlier today and he mentioned his ex gf. Any mention of her hits a nerve, so what i did was i started playing a online poker game on facebook! All my subconscious was playing the game and i avoided an arguement! This made me a lot happier, like i achieved something as we hadn't argued at all that day. Maybe it would work for you!
Have you got your insecurities from past relationships? If you have, take every boyfriend as a new start just like you would take a new friend. Yes, he can do something wrong, but don't expect it always as you bringing it up will make what you were trying to avoid, happen!
Hope this helps! X
|
