A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a question about online dating and proper protocal. I went online and actually met a guy about a week ago. Between, his cute picture and his profile and some emails, I found myself attracted to him. He seems very nice. He live four hours away. I am in my mid forties and know that it is best to meet sooner rather than later, because we might meet and have no attraction for one another. So , I asked him if he would want to come out my way sometime in January and I could give him suggestions for a hotel, so he can stay in it. He has frequent flier miles from his job. I am worried this may have sounded too bold and that is not my style in dating.And, I am not into one night stands and said that on my profile. On the other hand , you cannot get a good read on someone you have not met and I do not want to waste time. I really would like a comitted relationship and am wondering does anyone have any good experiences with online dating and advice. Thank you and Happy to New Year!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses. How do you know if they are married? What would be the red flag? I definetly will not sleep with him. He sounds soo nice , like you said he could be a total player., He said if he met the right girl, he could relocate as his job allows him that flexibility. Thanks so much for the kind follow up. I hope to be in a relationship one of these years anyway..All the best to you two ladies that responded. It is so appreciated.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): Its a very good idea to meet someone sooner rather than later, when it comes to online dating. You dont want to spend a lot of time chatting over the pc, only to find theres no chemistry when you finally do meet. Make it clear to your friend that you dont have sex on a first date...he should respect you for that. Then if he wants to visit he wont arrive with any false expectations.
I am in your age range and also dated online. I found it was much better to date guys who lived locally. The LDR thing just didnt interest me. I found a lot of time wasters...married men or men still hung up on ex`s. Also quite a few were still `friends` with women they had met online and it was apparent after a short while, that atleast one of them was still having FWB relationships with some. I didnt like that and got rid of him quickly. I was very fussy about the type of man i wanted to meet and i didnt sleep with any of them. I just dated. I found HIM after 3 months of online dating. He lived 20 minutes away from me, so seeing each other was very easy and i got to meet his family quickly too. That was 3 years ago and we are still together and very happy, so it can work. Just remember to respect yourself, dont be talked into anything you wouldnt want published on the front page of your local newspaper and trust your instincts! There are some real players out there that feel no shame when lying, so take care x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): I met my boyfriend through online dating. I totally agree with you being 'bold'. When I first started online my friend advised me to meet men I connected with and then eliminate them as soon as possible if there was no spark to avoid 'wasting time'. I took the bull by the horns and asked a guy I was interested in to give me a call if he was interested. We spoke for a week before we met up and have been together for 18 months. It is a lottery as there are a lot of weirdos out there but I was very careful scrutinising replies. I narrowed my selection down to 3 men who were very nice and one has become a good friend.One last thing - be realistic. If you meet and like this guy, can you cope with him being 4 hours away and not being able to see him regularly? if not don't keep it local.Good luck and Happy New Year
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