A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone tell me about their 'first time' at sex?I've been with my boyfriend 3 weeks so i'm not thinking about it soon, i just want to be prepared.I've 'dry humped' before and my last partner tried to finger me but i felt uncomfortable so i stopped it, though part of my suspects he might have tried when i fell asleep once because i woke up very sore 'down there'. However thats another story.I just don't know what to do, ive never used a tampon and i go to a catholic school so we dont get sex ed. Its all a bit vague :/
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female
reader, Tii3RN3Ybbs. +, writes (9 August 2008):
 Hi babes,
Well my first time, it look me 2 hours to think if i relle wanted it right now my heart wos saying yes and my mind, well that wos saying no lols.
but i knew i could trust this guy, we've been thru alot together and i could talk to him about anything , so he made me feel more comfertable about myself.
he took it slow, because it does pinch a bit at first like it does for everyone,
people say your 1st times your worse for me,
it actually wasn't it was really good, and i no we did do it properley.
but make sure you can trust this guy before you do it, because you don't wanna regret it, because you will always remember your first time, and you don't want a stupid idiot of a boyfriend screwing you over, so just take care of yourself and have a think before you make decisions.
hope's alls helped x
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (7 August 2008):
Hey, "anonymous female reader"!
Cupid hasn't flagged your post with "verified as the person who submitted the original question", so I'm guessing that you're the same person. It's good that you've received some useful advice!
Pull back the fangs, please?
I can't find where anybody even implied that you are an "idiot". I don't think anybody "lectured" you, though they did take their personal time to teach you from their own experiences and warn you about some pitfalls they have observed. When you said "soon", it wasn't clear if you meant "not this weekend" or "not until I've graduated from medical school and become a partner in a practice".
Similarly, including the information about being fondled in your sleep is essentially an invitation for comments - and the comments would be substantially the same regardless of who did that to you.
You asked for help, and help was offered. Please realize that it was done respectfully and with good intentions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): IM NOT THINKING OF DOING IT SOON.
And the person im dating is not the person who tried to touch me in my sleep, i know he didn't respect me, thats why he's my 'last partner'
Im not an idiot and i know it takes time and i will always use protection, i wanted some advice, not a lecture.
Thanks for some of the good advice though :)
I'll message a few of you.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (6 August 2008):
p.s. - "Fiona_xxx" had a couple of good points. Teen couples - even those who have been together for years - commonly break up right after they add sex to their relationship.
And the advice to "do everything-but-sex first" is good.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (6 August 2008):
Three weeks is NOT long enough! I won't insist that you should be like my wife and I - we spent 3 months getting to know each other before we even kissed, and we were both 22 and out of college and a little experienced with other relationships. At your age, one year isn't a bad guideline - maybe two - before you add sex to your love.
And if it's true that "he might have tried when I fell asleep once", he does NOT have the respect and understanding you deserve in your first partner! You can have a role in teaching him respect and understanding, but it'll take a year - or two - or more.
As for what it's like there is a recent thread called "I know it's said that size is not important but . . . " at [http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-know-its-said-that-size-is-not.html] and some old posts like "I'm a virgin and worried about my wedding night...", at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-a-virgin-and-worried-about-my-wedding.html ]. (Scroll the thread to find my post.) Even though it was lousy sex, our first time was still very significant and meaningful to my wife and I! You might also look at what I wrote in the thread "First time - painful?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-time---painful.html ].
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (5 August 2008):
 You need to have gone out together for a while, at least a month-two months, or whatever feels right. At least enough time to feel you have common interests. Otherwise shortly afterwards you would split saying you didn't have anything in common which would hurt.
Condoms essential.
Get used to doing everything but first.
Fiona
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): well my first sexual experience, i was 14, a little drunk with my boyfriend in the front room watching TV and my mum had just popped around to the neighbours. it lasted 2 mins if that, the dog was growling at him, it hurt a bit but the pain subsided and that was it, nothing special a few weeks later we split up. not very romantic for me. so make sure its planned and well prepared!
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (5 August 2008):
 If you'd like to know about my first time in a little more detail, then just message me. I'll also be happy to answer any questions, no matter how personal they are. I'm just a little uncomfortable typing them all out so anyone can see them.
Every first time is different. Just make sure you know what you're doing and make sure it's special :)
Wishing you the best.
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Hey Hunny.
If you send me a mail in private I'mm happily fill you in with my experiences and tell you what you can expect.
Just click on my picture to find a link.
Sorry I can't post it publically, but my little sister is on this site sometimes and it would be a little inappropriate.
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