A
female
age
41-50,
*erenissima
writes:Hello everyone, In the last month, my boyfriend has started participatin as an advice giver on a dating site. The difference is that one that site everyone has their picture up, they all post several times a day and develop cyber friendships. He has been telling me how much the women there have fallen gaga over his pics and his sensitive advice.Problem is, he has now started to plan a meetup with the women he has met on the site, and from the way he mentioned it, it looks like he plans on not inviting me. I might be getting ahead of myself and he might invite me, but I'm pretty sure that's not his intention. Now, I need to wait until he mentions it again so I can ask him whether he plans on taking me or not. If he doesn't want to take me, I don't think that would be right. Half of these women are really hot and they're all fawning over him. i don't think it's right for him to meet with these people without me around, especially because I'm already excluded form another area in his life - he's a freelance writer and for one agazine he has to pretend he doesn't have a girlfriend. If he wants to do this without me, I don't know what I should do. To me, it feels like a big deal, why would he need to meet them by himself? Why do I have to be excluded?thanks for your thoughts! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 August 2008):
 Hi, I'd be worried about this too! At least he has been honest about telling you about it. I think I would draw the line at him meeting up with one of these women without you. If they think he's single, then he is fair game. If he's been honest with them and has told them about you, then they should respect that.
Maybe he's having his ego stroked by all this attention from hot women, and that's all it is. But then again, he should be aware of your feelings on this and your concerns are certainly valid to me. If he truly cares about keeping your relationship and intact, he'll be taking this into account.
You decide what you think is acceptable and what you can live with. And for heaven's sake, why can't you talk about this with him? Why do you have to wait for him to bring it up? Hellooo, honey, you want to meet hot women who are looking for dates and you want to do this without me? Are we in a crisis here, honey? Are you entirely happy with this relationship or are you looking to get out?
You don't have to be angry or nasty about it, be calm and serene and be willing to listen to his side. And be prepared to articulate your position on this.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, misfit08  +, writes (5 August 2008):
you're boyfriend obviously thinks you're relationship with him is so good that he can help other people with their problems in their relationship. he must look at you're relationship as a guideline and you should be somewhat flatterd.but on the other hand im with you on the whole meeting thins, i wouldnt be happy with myself not being their either.all you need to do it talk to him, be honest and tell him how you feel about it and ask him if it was the other way round would he feel happy about it.im sure he will understand maybe he just doesnt relise and needs you to point it out.good luck.
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