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I need options other than marriage!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 January 2011)
A female Nigeria age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I seem to always meet the wrong guys, am beginning to feel maybe marriage is not meant for me. Am seriously considering remaining single and adopting a child. Is there any other alternative? Am just tried of been betrayed over and over again but remaining the ideal man's dream woman but never getting to meet the ideal man,who is still single. The emotional stress is killing my spirit.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

am so grateful for the advice. You guys are life savers. Wish i had found this site earlier. Your advice lifted my spirit, gave me fresh hope. i think ladies attitude towards marriage is influenced majorly by societal expectations and pressure placed on them,especially if you are in a small community, when you attain a certain age,without been married,everyone begins to feel sorry for you,they think you have spiritual problem and mount greater pressure on you.they make it a point to remind you that all your younger are getting married. As a guy,if you came under such pressure, your view about marriage will change.

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (3 January 2011):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntWhen you find someone, you need to wait a long time before even thinking about marriage. Some people get into marriages far too early and far too late to find out that their man is not what they thought he was.

Consider being single, consider adopting a child but do not make any decisions. Do not actively go out and look for a relationship but instead, let the right man come to you. You cannot stop yourself from feeling anything, nor can the right man stop himself from feeling the same. Do not be so quick to give up so easily. There are good men out there, I assure you, just be patient in a relationship so you can get a sense of what your partner truly is.

I hope that helps.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011):

First option that comes to mind is......not to get married.

This is a great example of the differing ways men and women's think.

Most men never give marriage a second thought until we find that one perfect girl.

Women are obsessed by marriage whether they have a candidate or not.

Don't push it. Love can't find you if you are off somewhere else trying to snare it and knock it over the head with a brick.

Love will find you.

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