A
female
age
51-59,
*yfoeverlove
writes:For the first time in my life I completely opened up to a man in every way because in my heart I knew he was the one for me, I gave him my all. Slowly he began to talk to me mean, he was always late for everything, he never really had any time for me. He was in a relationship with a woman for 20 years before me, they had two kids together and she treated him very badly. They had been broke up for 5 years by the time I came along and when she found out about me she decides that he is a good man and she wants him back, so I slowly watch her do little things to win him back. By this time I had decided that the relationship really isn't good for me no matter how much I love him and I slowly watched him fall back into her arms. I have to ride by his house quite often to go to my daughter's house and she is there quite a bit. Even though I ended the relationship for my own good my self-esteem is shot, I am afraid to even be near a man (we have been broke up for 4 months now), I am severely depressed. Why would he just go back to her, him and I were together for 2 years and he has so quickly started up with her again after the way she treated him. If she loved him so much why did she only express that love after she found out about me. I know that ending the relationship was best for me but this hurts so bad sometimes I literally feel like I am dying and it seems he has so happily picked up with her. How do I heal, will I ever date again, did he ever really love me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): they still love each other. When you started dating him, his wife realized that she still wanted him. that's my best guess. About dating again, yes i would. why suffer because of one bad apple. My girlfriend just dumped me after 6 months of intense love and affection. she went back to an old boyfriend mostly because he has cancer, she was the best I ever had. Do what I did. go to church and make the alter call at the end of the service. then pray and ask God to remove the hurt and pain from your heart. It works, sometimes you have to keep praying, but it really works. it will take along time to get over her but in the meantime, I give all my problems to God. every single time you start to hurt...pray, pray pray.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 It seems that you just got between two people who wern't quite over eachother, even after 5 years. It wasn't your fault but getting involved with anyone who has been previously married is a risk.
He probably did love you, when you were together but he decided to go back to his ex who was raising his kids (it's a strong bond to break but hard to understand)
I am so sorry you are hurting, there is no pain like emotional pain and nothing you can take for it.
It's cliche but time is a healer and even though it feels like the world will never be right again...believe me, it will.I went through this from March last year and I still have days when I feel low, but I am 100% better than I was when my relationship ended.
Keep yourself busy, focus on yourself and your physical and mental wellbeing. Gather friends and family and confide in someone you trust about your feelings.
I know this probably sounds odd but create an exercise routine for yourself. Walking, swimming, taking a yoga or salsa class will keep you topped up with endorphines and this will help emensley. Eat well and try not to dwell on the sadness you feel.
It takes a full turn of the calender to fully recover a loss, so you have a way to go, but you can make life better for yourself by accepting the relationship is done with and in time, you will definitely want to date again, maybe not for a while...but definitely in time.
Good luck and chin up sweetie xxx
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A
female
reader, aloregirl  +, writes (2 January 2011):
am so sorry.understand how you feel. The truth is that it might not have been his intention to hurt you but he was yet to get over his ex when you came along. Its not that he didnt love her anymore,he just didnt like some things she was doing and when it seem she has changed for the better,it was so easy to fall back into her lap. Its good you ended it because he would have continued to hurt you. What you should do now is to cut off all contact frm him,try to avoid him totally. Think of something fun you always wanted to but didnt get the time to do it and have fun. Change your wardrobe if you can,go for spa,take up a new sport. Cherish yourself,spoil yourself a little. Pls dont make the mistake of punishing yourself for something he did! So forgive him and you will be free!!! Believe me,unforgiveness imprisons its master. This might sound funny but you can talk to God about it,for strenght to forgive a person who isn't even remorseful. You wil come out a better person for it. Remember,you are worth dieing for,he was just too blind to see it.
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