A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently I have noticed my fiance's weight gain. To me it's not a problem, I still find him attractive no matter what. But he's noticed it and has got a complex about it, his frineds call him 'fat' fatty' etc and I can see it really gets to him. Also recently his parents told him they thought he should lose weight and he got really hurt by it.He always turns to me for reassurance when someone calls him fat. I always say 'no your not, your perfect your gorgeous'which I know is wrong of me, i should tell him he has gotten fat because of his health.Today I was doing one of them BMI calcualtors on the internet, he wasn't here with me and I put all his measurments in etc and it said that he is overweight verging on obese. What should I do to get him to try and lose the weight? I don't want to hurt his feelings...Any ideas?Thanks x
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (8 January 2010):
 Try being more active together without telling him you are doing it so he can lose weight - so suggest you go out for walks at the weekend (local parks, countryside etc), suggest you join a gym together because you want to get fit (make it seem like you want to shape up and you wont hurt his feelings), maybe go jogging together if you cant afford a gym, start swimming....there is lots of different types of exercise you can incorporate into your lives that you can do together. He needs to be exercising at least 3 times a week so try and get in as much exercise as you can, at least half and hour each session. The recommended exercise quota is actually half an hour each day so keep that in mind.
Also when you do eat together, try cooking healthier meals. Stop with any high fat, high calorie meals - no more takeaways etc.
But as the other answers have said - only he can lose the weight and he has to want to do it himself. I put on 2 stone about 2 years ago and it took me over a year to do something about it - I knew I was too big and I was unhappy, but you have to reach that "rock-bottom" feeling before you actually decide enough is enough. So until your fiance gets to this point, just be active together and try to promote healthy eating when you are together rather than eating high fat, high calorie meals together.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): It takes will power, motivation, and time to task to lose weight. Not matter what you tell him to boost him up, ultimately it's his decision. Ninety-percent of losing weight is diet, change the diet and he'll lose some weight, add some cardio/weightlifting by alternating these everyday and he'll lose a hellavalot more weight much quicker. Have him cut out sodas and juices, limit carbs and sugars, and substitute at least one meal for a salad (use spritzers for salad dressings) and he'll lose some weight.
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A
female
reader, unappeciatied  +, writes (8 January 2010):
First u start by being honest with him. Your only obligation is honesty. Suggest that you guys work out together. If you guys live together, control his meals. Cook foods that are better for the both of you. A journey to good health is always more appreciated when you have support from your loved ones. Men have esteem issues, and confidence issues just as woman. believe it or not some men are more sensitive than we r also, they just show it differently. make him feel good, and sexy. Allow him to realiz that you love him enough to care and be willing to help.
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A
male
reader, Jager +, writes (7 January 2010):
this is not your job if he wants to loose weight then he will. If he wants to be cant then there is still nothing you can do. you can try to support him lossing weight but dont say you think he should when its obvious that you're the only one who is supporting him and not calling him fat. I've been in this situation and if i could choose between my partner supporting me or calling me fat and trying to get me to change i'd choose support. You being there for him i admire you for that
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