A
female
age
41-50,
*orriedbridetobe
writes:My fiance's family are Mormon and his mother has never approved of me. She has always been rude to me and I have never stood up to her because I do not feel that it is my place. My fiance and I have had so many arguments about his family and he just gets angry with me saying I'm having a go at him for what other people think and that he can't do anthing about it. I understand that she might not change but it would mean so much to me if he told her that the way she treats me is wrong. I am someone who always stands up for herself and I have never tolerated anyone treating me the way she does but I really feel that he should be the one to adress it. If my family act inappropriately to him I am the first person to stand up for him.We recently invited his mother to look at our intended wedding venue and his mother's behaviour was appalling, she criticised everything and when we told her how many people were coming to the wedding she made a comment about the fact that a lot of my family were attending. She hasn't spoken to me since then as she could tell that I was upset and then completely blanked me the next time `i went to her house and didn't even buy me a birthday card. I am now dreading my own wedding because she doesn't drink and she has always made derogatory remarks about me and my family because we do drink.I am just getting sick of having no support from my fiance and am tired of all the arguments, how do i deal with this?
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 His mother is a bitch! If he wont support you with her now then it will only get worse as time goes on. It's time to have a very serious conversation with him about this and it would pay to ask him how he would stand on you standing up to his mother yourself. Point out to him that if he's not going to do it then you will have to as you are not going to put up with it anymore. If he's horrified by that suggestion I too would think twice about marrying him.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 October 2011):
I would honestly think twice about marrying this man. There is absolutely no excuse for him not saying something to her, and his explanation, that it's 'other people's thoughts' is a cowardly one.
It sounds like this mother can't handle that her boy is with another woman, and she's jealous. But it's hugely worrying that your fiance simply won't do anything about it. That shows that he's a bit cowardly to be honest - meaning that when you need to be able to rely on him, he won't be there.
More importantly, is this woman now going to rule his and your lives? Will she treat your children (should you have any) badly, and will your fiance allow it?
From what you're written here, I think you really need to think twice about marrying this man. He won't be there for you.
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