A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, I am 20 years old and my bf is 23, we meet usually twice a week, for sex most of the time, he only text me, no calls! I'm the one who rarely calls.. we had a great romance a long time ago, he is my first real bf and I still love him like I did the first day.all of this seems fine but what's going on inside of me is the problem: I feel like he is far from me, only share a small piece of his life. I tried to talk to him several times but he doesn't want to listen, I need him to grow up!! to be clear with me, what to do ?? please help me I don't want to lose him!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionplease please I just wanna know if he loves me or not, guys don't show what they are feeling, I love him I love him more than myself I ll give him the world ... I afraid , and he is not clear how could I tell how can I know if he is the one !!!? please help me I am so depressed
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (14 May 2010):
 Tell him what your feeling, tell him that you don't think this relationship is offering you enough and you want more. Tell him you need more than texts and sex. Tell him you need space to think. Then give yourself a break. Hang out with your girlfriends, go out and have fun. Flirt, laugh, try just being happy and young. If you explain why you need to walk away, if he cares, he'll understand, and offer you more when you've had time to clear your head and decide what you want from a man.
Respect and love yourself first, and try to create your own happiness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thank you all for your advices,
I think that I have to leave him for a while and to take sometime off, hoping he will think things over and really figure out what he really wants, do you agree? is this the best solution ? thank you
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (14 May 2010):
You meet twice a week and only have sex. He dosen't call you, and I bet he dosen't take you out, buy you gifts or surprise you with loving calls...
I agree with Tisha, sounds like all he's offering is sex and nothing else. You had a great romance a long time ago, but this dosen't sound romantic, it sounds like a sex thing only.
You try to talk to him, he dosen't listen, dosen't sound like he's unhappy with the situation. A sex only relationship suits him a lot, and if your unhappy he dosen't care, because as long as he is getting his sex and your not turning him away, he has no problems.
A guy who is in love with you, who wants to romance you, wants to make you happy, misses you when he can't see you, likes the sound of your voice, and likes to take you out and show you off.
A guy who just wants sex, text's you, dose the sex thing, and you hardly hear from him untill he wants to have sex again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): What does this have to do with growing up?
If you define a guy being grown up by him doing what you want, then you're in for some immature relationships.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 May 2010):
 Maybe you can take the first step and see how he responds? Ask him what future he sees with you. But make sure that beforehand you have determined what kind of future/relationship you want. Are you looking inot getting married? Moving in with him? Having children? When you have decided what it is you want, ask him what he wants and maybe tell him what you are thinking. But be warned that you might not get the answers you want to hear.
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A
male
reader, True  +, writes (14 May 2010):
I dont believe you should listen to Tisha-1 on the question for her answer can easily turn to disaster even if her bf didnt want it to because this can cause him to not even try to contact her even after her fake out because he may already feel insecure or not want to be rejected which may cause greater distance between the two.
So if he doesnt listen to you then make him, although i usualy try to tell people to be calm when trying to solve a problem i think you should actualy try to get through to him by like say "HEY! listen to me!" (but try not to sound like a bitch)then express your concern and love for him and how much you want to be more involved in his life and him in yours. Because like in your bf situation their harder to open up so it can be harder but can be well worth it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe first met more that 3 years ago and we had a couple of breakups .. but we are now together and this is the thing, he doesn't push the relationship foward this is my biggest fear; why ? why he is not doing anything to keep it up!!? I m afraid I m gonna stay stuck like this for the rest of my life !!
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (14 May 2010):
Demand to be a part of his life. For how long have you dated? After a year it is definitely time to be included and presented to family and friends, and possibly think about moving in together.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 May 2010):
 I think you need to let him feel the risk of losing you. He knows he can treat you badly because you will tolerate it. I am afraid for you that he has relegated you to the status of a convenient sex partner, and little else. You have allowed him to put you in this lesser category and I think you should shake him up by stopping the calls, stopping the sex, and giving him a chance to miss you.
I personally wouldn't put up with this type of treatment for one more second--I know I deserve better. I hope you realize you do too.
Good luck.
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