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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Ok here goes ive been having a long distance relationship with a guy since March because of distance we see each other at weekends. I'm 40 hes 29. Which i worry about but hes okay about it. Its my birthday in 2 months but when i brought it up its its his friends birthday 'do'shes 30 and as shes his mate and its a special b'day he 'feels he should go' he then said as we are both off work week before we could go away for a few days. Am i being childish that he would rather spend the day celebrating someone elses birthday? Is it an age thing?? We get on so well so i know he likes me by how we are together and we speak everyday but i am worried his feelings arent as deep as they should be?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 September 2016):
 Could you not go to the party with him? If you are his girlfriend then I don't see why you would not go together as a couple.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (11 September 2016):
 Well, if you are in love with him, and he’s not a toyboy, then start integrating yourselves into each other’s lives. Get to know his longtime friend. Suggest you and he take her out for a birthday meal.
How long distance is this relationship? An hour or two or three by car? Or a plane ride?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2016): He just wanted to be present when a friend celebrates her 30th. For millennials, that's one foot in the grave. So they're making a big deal of it. It's like attending a funeral and cheering up the family of the dearly-departed.
Everyone has to be there.
My boyfriend was in Chicago at a business convention on my birthday. We celebrated when he got back. I went out with my friends on that night, got a call and a gigantic edible basket from him that day.
When you're past 30, birthdays are not that big of a deal. It's the quality time spent with people you love who want to celebrate you, be it on the day, or a belated celebration; with all the same sentiment and love in it.
Competing with his longtime friends is beneath your dignity. Let him chill with this friends for her 30th birthday, he's coming home to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont know why i use that term really, i am inlove with him and our relationship is becoming more intense he says he loves everything about me and we both get down when its time for the other to go. Its not just about sex its deeper than that. The girl is part of a group of friends he has known since forever so i guess i can understand. We tend to go out together though we have double dated once with hus friends which was fun. I am just sad when we arent together
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 September 2016):
 Did you write the headline calling him your toy-boy? If so... he is a glorified F-buddy, FWB and not a partner.
His friends are more important to him than you. That isn't about age, that is about HIS priorities in life.
If his friend's birthday do is already planned and a "bigger event" than YOUR birthday I can kind of see why he wants to go. You two can celebrate just the two of you while going away.
I understand why you feel this way, but.. I can also see why he wants to go to a close friend's birthday bash and celebrate YOUR birthday another day.
It's been 6 months, other than this one issue do you see a future with him? or not really?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 September 2016):
Have you met each other’s friends and specifically have you met his about to be 30 yo friend? Do you two go out with his friends when you are together on the weekends? Do you two go out with yours?
Have they been friends a long time? You’ve known him for 6 months; how long have they been friends?
I don’t really think this is an age thing. I think this is a priority thing. As in, where do you two fit into each other’s priorities? You used the term “toyboy” to describe him, does that reflect the tone of the relationship for you? A “toyboy” to me is someone who is merely a plaything, someone kept around for ego purposes; the term wouldn’t apply to a committed boyfriend. If you call him a toyboy then perhaps he believes your feelings about him aren’t as deep as they should be.
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