A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't wanna write my life story, but here's the deal. I grew up with a single mom who never dated and kept to herself all throughout my childhood. She never wanted to talk to me about guys, and when puberty hit I would try and mention crushes I had, she wouldn't have it. So I never really had any guidance when it came understanding men or how to deal with them, etc. My father was never around, so I never had a male figure in my life. So when I went off to college, I thought guys who gave me attention liked me, but I found out the hard way, that they just wanted sex. I'm 22, and have never had a boyfriend. I'm physically attractive, smart, funny, and outgoing. I feel like I don't even know what to do when it comes to guys, and how to make them look at me other than just a sex object. So if my looks aren't the things scaring off guys, it's the way I guess I act with them or something that doesn't allow for any of them to see me as "girlfriend" material.So ladies, is there any female advice that I should know to help me out in this department. And guys, what is it that makes you like a girl enough to make her your girlfriend, and not just a one night stand or fuck buddy? Please help, I really don't know what to do, and I will do whatever it is to better myself to get into a loving, serious relationship with a guy I like. But I really need some guidance. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Gloria Gaynor hit the nail on the head RESPECTThats all, You are lucky, your attractive, me my motorbike gets more attention than I do, I casise little kids to cry.... :-)Look You want a guy to want your mind, your personality and eventually your body as well. I wouldn't change how you dress so that dumb ass guys who think you might be easy are going to hit on you, they will anyway.Relax and enjoy your college life, don't freak about finding a guy, do things that you actually enjoy, Join new clubs , meet new people, but most f all dont change yourself for someone else.Eventually some guy will want to be around you because he likes being with you and sex is a natural progression.Speaking for myself sex with a beautiful wman whom I know respects herself enough to say No until she is ready is way way more fulfilling than just meeting someone for a night.I hope this helps.Oh yeah and as for what happened with your mum, You have to acknowledge that happened but don't let it colour your life, not all guys will leave there are nice guys out there.Elpigaro
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (10 April 2009):
Think about something I read many years ago. Dr Jacob Bronowski, a highly respected scientist and philosopher from the mid 20th century, wrote in "The Ascent of Man" that humans - both men and women - may not be too particular about who they sleep with, but are VERY careful about who they take as life partners, and parents for their children. (See the chapter "Generation Upon Generation".)
And the factor people use to decide who they form long-term relationships with? Intelligence! So if you come across primarily as somebody a guy wants to have sex with - you'll attract mostly guys who want sex. If you want to attract a guy for a long-term thing, let them see what's between your ears.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): If you're in college, it should be easy to have conversations with people in your classes. Talk about the subject, start a study group, complain about the prof, whatever. School is so great for that kind of thing, because it gives you an automatic conversation-starter. With that as an ice-breaker, just be yourself as the conversation flows and you get to know whoever, and they get to know you. If all goes well, in a couple of weeks you'll be going out for coffee, and you're away to the races.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): I know it sounds cheesy, but just relax and be yourself! In my experience the girls that try too hard to impress, or flirt may get the desired attention but also end up looking tacky and lose the respect of any decent guys. If you dress tarty and go after every guy that even looks at you they will just see you as a sex object - plus you're more likely to attract the tacky guys that way too who aren't looking for a serous relationship.Whereas if you just dress classy (not saying that u have to be a prude!) and try to be a little more on the coy side, they're more likely to see you for who you really are.If you meet a guy you like, just go for it, be honest, and go with the flow, if there's a connection you'll know it and good things will follow, you'll know if he's worth it.
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A
female
reader, XxDefineMexX +, writes (10 April 2009):
 To be honest i would try E-Harmony or a dating site that makes you feel comfortable. My Uncle and new Aunt met through that and they truly love each other and I'm so glad they have each other. Usually people on internet dating site, like E-Harmony, aren't just looking for a 'one night stand'. The are probably there for the same reason you are.If that's not for you than there are other options. If you tend to wear short skirts or low cut tops you might be perceived as 'easy'. But since i have obviously never met you i would not know.Try not to make a relationship work if you meet somewhere like a bar where he might just be looking for a 'one night stand'. Just wait to meet someone you really like somewhere unexpected. It's one of the best surprises in life, let me guarantee you. I would just say wait for the right guy and when you think you have 'the one' take things slow. If he really loves you and wants to make it work he'll wait until your ready. And if he's all wrong you'll be glad you didn't go to far.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): im in the same position cant wait to hear the responses to this one :)
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