A
female
age
30-35,
*ieutenant
writes:I need advice on how to stop obsessing over someone. I'm a medical student in my 2nd year and i've had a crush on one of my classmates for alomst a year and a half now.First time I saw him was in our anatomy class in my first year. I think I was first attracted to his brain, rather than him physically; because he was always incredibly well prepared for each anatomy lesson and always had the answers when everyone else didn't. Now it's just developed into a full blown obsession. I think that he's incredibly handsome and he literally gives me fever (sweating and cold at the same time, confusion, forgetting how to walk i.e. putting one feet in front of the other...yes it is quite bad).We don't have a lot of lessons together because he's in a different group from me. We have 1 lesson together and he has recently substituted into my group for another, so I am certain to see him twice a week (which is going to change for the semester after Christmas, so I might not have any lessons with him). In addition, I usually see him around campus and he lives on the same floor as me in the halls of residence even though I hardly ever really see him in halls because i'm usually always in my room.I have never said a word to him, not even a "hi" because i'm too scared and i'm pretty much an anti-social person or more accurately, a shy introvert. Last semester I slipped a note under his door saying that I had a crush on him (but I signed it as "secret admirer", so he doesn't know who left him the note...yes I know I sound like a complete nutjob). That is the most "communication" i've had with him, if you can call it that. I want him to notice me, but then I run away as soon as I see him. I just think I want to admire him from afar, but i've recently started spending a LOT of time thiking about him. I mean I like him and i've never had a crush like this before.I'm not brave (or stupid) enough to tell him that I like him to his face, because I still have 4 and a half years of med school with him. If I tell him and he doesn't like me, I have to see him over and over again in uni. If I tell him and he turns out to be an arsehole and goes off to tell people, once again I have to see him and those people over and over again and I don't want that kind of drama in my life.I just want to stop obsessing over him, how can I do this?
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christmas, crush, notice me, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2013): This sounds almost exactly like my situation at uni. I had the biggest crush on someone who I never said one word to, he was cute, shy and polite like me. I never had the courage to talk to him due to fear of rejection and I regret it all the time! I stronly encourage you to talk to him. Just as the other person said say "hi" you obviously really like him. Don't try to forget about him unless you've tried to initiate a conversation with him if you see he doesn't show interest, then forget about him. Save yourself the regret and constant thought of "what might have happened if only I would've done this." Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2013): One thing I know from my friend who studies medicine is that the guys don't stay single for long, the girl to guy ratio is incredible. So if u don't have the balls to go up to him and make conversation and meet up alone then you might as well leave it.
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A
female
reader, Lieutenant +, writes (1 December 2013):
Lieutenant is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply, the problem is i'm always too nervous to talk to him. I'm even too nervous to walk past him, so I tend to avoid him...which is weird because I obviously like him. I'm just scared that I would sound like a babbling fool if I tried to strike a conversation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2013): You don't have to tell him you have a crush on him and its just a crush. Crushes are fun and safe because you don't risk getting hurt. What would happen if he liked you back and changed his mind in a year? You'd still have to see him around. It's hard to get over the fear of potential embarrassment, believe me - I know. The best thing I can think of is for you to start talking to him as a friend. You really don't know the guy and if you become friends with him and hang out and do whatever you think friends do, that will show you more of what and who he is. It may make your crush deeper, or you mind find out about some deal-breakers. Worst case scenario, you'll become friends. I know it's hard, but start by saying "hi". If you're unsure of something in class, ask for his help in explaining it. Maybe something funny happened in Anatomy lab and you can bring that up. Maybe you two have lunch at the same time and you can invite him to grab a bite to ear or some coffee or something. God Luck!
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