A
male
age
30-35,
*ooah
writes:Hi,I have been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for a year and a month, now. We were together in Arcata, CA for my sophomore year (her freshman year) in high school; but my father's in the Army, so I got transferred to Albany, NY during the summer. We promised each other commitment and full trust.. I would be going back to California for college.. and it was working out very well.. we would talk every night.. we would always text each other.. She would always constantly remind me how much she loved me, she even sent me a Christmas present with a handwritten letter.. Then she moved to Los Angeles. She made new friends (I don't have a problem with that).. but now she's lost touch with our relationship.. we fight a lot now, and last night she told me that she has zero hope and zero confidence in our relationship. I feel that these friends took her away from me. Her "best friend" has a really liberal and "give a rat's ass" attitude.. and I fear that she's causing my girlfriend to think that our love is impossible. She told me last night that I was "too unrealistic" and have too much hope for things that will not work out. I'm a very realistic person.. I just have hope and optimism for this relationship. She's told me last night that she'll give me a chance to prove her wrong and try to restore her hope and stuff.. But I need advice on how to do so. I would fly to her in a heartbeat.. I work a part time job, so I have the money to do so.. but her guardians (her aunt and uncle that live in L.A.) apparently "forbid" me from dating her because I'm a couple years older.. I don't see how that works since their marriage has an 11 year difference.. My girlfriend's mother in Arcata was perfectly fine with us dating.. she loved me. Now My girlfriend moves to L.A., and she's all of the sudden unable to see me in the future because of her aunt and uncle.I know that this can work, the waiting game sucks.. but it's possible. I hope that I can restore her hope.. The thought of her with someone else just rips me to pieces. We were just fine a couple months ago.. I can't figure out what's happening... She just seems to not care anymore.. I need your help. Any advice would be great..
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christmas, confidence, long distance, money, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Hooah +, writes (9 September 2009):
Hooah is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, thank you for your input. I believe the same.
A
female
reader, melanie0083 +, writes (9 September 2009):
 i was in the army and had seen a lot of "long distance" go down. Me personally, I don't believe in them. people change after a while...especially a year. you and her will be totally different when you re-unite. I'm not saying that hey don't work out, but the chances are slim. If you really love her, obviously your not going to let her go. But to make this work, it cant be just on your part(one sided) this is something that BOTH of you want and has to work hard on. (like talking everyday and doing what you can to keep the flame alive) Without her efforts, it will fail. So the ball is in her court wither or not SHE really wants this to work.
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