A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, A few weeks ago i told a girl at work that i liked her and asked if she would like to go out. Her response was that she had no idea that i felt that way about but and that i was a sweet guy but she had a boyfriend.I was disappointed with that but was ok with it i still treated her the same at work and she treated me the same.Over the weekend i messaged her because i had a question not relating to dating or relationships or anything remotely associated to it. After a few texts back and forward she tells me out of no where that she broke up with her boyfriend. She then spoke about how confused she felt and how she did not know what she wanted when i told her i will ask her out again in the future she responded with that she does not want to hurt me. I asked if she meant hurt me by rejecting me she said no. She said that she valued me as a friend to much. I have never been so confused? Does she like me or not? Does she need time to get her head to geather as she put it?? Should i ask her? Why did she tell me about her breaking up with her boyfriend knowing that i like her??Help need a female perspective
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 most people need a little time to get over their heartbreak, she is in a vulnerable place and isn't ready--a couple of hours out of the breakup--to talk about getting into ANOTHER relationship, which, in her mind, will likely end in breakup (she probably feels like, if MY great relationship can suddenly end just like that, who's to say this NEXT one won't) and result in someone getting hurt. just give her time and don't really bring it up unless she wants to talk about the breakup or about dating.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (9 March 2010):
 Sound to me she is not sure what she wants either, but she wants to keep her options open, sometimes when women tell a guy they don't want to hurt him it can be viewed as a pre warning.
I think wait until she does get her head together, just act as you have been at work, and watch and see which way the wind blows
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