A
female
age
41-50,
*hoccychick
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for over 1 1/2 years, and we live together. i love him very much and most of the time we get on fine, but he has no direction in life and im worried if i settle with him we will end up struggling and living a dead end life. the reason i say hes got no ambition is for example, hes 30 and doesnt drive. he has no interest in getting a driving license, even though he would get lots more work and a pay rise, he has a very complicated problem with his id which has stopped him from getting one in the past but when we got together he said he wanted one so ive been trawling the net, trying to solve it for him and ive done everything from filling out the forms to writing him a cheque, all he has to do is fill out ONE question i cant and its been weeks and he hasnt done it. when i mention it we fight. it also means he hasnt got a passport and cant travel anywhere, but he has no interest in that either. hes self employed and half the time has no money and will go a over a week without working, and during this time hel just sit playing computer games all day. he never wants to out anywhere (he has no money to half the time anyway) and when we do if its not the pub he walks around looking miserable and bored!we also live in a town far from everybody and i want to move back, but he wont condsider it cos where we are is cheaper.i had an abortion shortly after we got together and now i am so terrified of getting pregant its ruining our sex life. we're careful of course but i know if i had a child with him life would be a constant stuggle, id be looking at the same 4 walls every day for the rest of my life. but i love him and we get on well, so i just dont know what to do. im turning into a huge nag and i dont understand why hes happy with the ways things are.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (9 March 2010):
 It does not sound as is he is going to change, if he cant make a change for himself or you then its unlikley he will in the future.
You have to question yourself and ask do you truly love him enough to stay? I suspect not because your having doubts now.
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