A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a very loving relationship for 8 months now. My boyfriend is so caring, understanding, lovely... everything I could ask for and we very rarely argue.When we first together we had sex basically every day. This is how I was with my ex boyfriend too, I've always had a very high sex drive.However this past month I have noticed greatly a change in my sex drive, I really don't feel like it at all and I have no idea why. I still find my boyfriend unbelievably sexy and we havent argued at all. We must have had sex only 8 times in the past month and I'm thinking my boyfriend's sex drive has changed too as he doesn't always try it on.Has anyone else gone through this in such early stages of a realtionship? Is there anything I can do to make me want to have sex again? I want to feel sexy and horny again, I do miss the intimacy and don't know what's wrong?
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female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (28 March 2009):
The first 6-8 months of every relationship is when all the hormones are raging and you can't keep your hands off each other. Then things settle in a bit. Having sex 8x a month is still 2x a week... that's not bad. A few other things to consider ... it's March now. End of really long winter, spring isn't quite here yet. Everyone is kind of in a slump waiting for the sun to come out. Also, if you are into astrology, Venus (the planet of love) is retrograde now (asleep) so it's possible sex drives everywhere are mellow right now.
But basically I think there are natural rhythms in everyone's life, like the tides, they ebb and flow. I say just respect the "low tide" for now and don't worry about it so much; you might create an issue where there doesn't need to be one. There is a lot more to life and relationships than just sex. Just stay present in the moment and go with the flow and enjoy other things about your man for now and i'm sure it will all circle back around.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): Oh, stop worrying already! I don't think a thing is wrong, sexual urges die down the more sex you have.....so you will be back up and doing it like rabbits the minute you stop obsessing over it. The honeymoon stage may be wearing off and sometimes men when they start settling into the attachment phase actually want and need less sex because they are finally attached to you in an emotional way and it is not all about the sex. ....so stop worrying unless your sex drive disappears for another month.....if you are on the birth control pill that can lower your sex drive, but you can ask your doctor to give you a different pill, they don't all have the same side effects.....
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (28 March 2009):
 Has there been other changes that might affect it, in your life? Like work schedule, or work load, or diet change, or psychological conditions that preoccupied your mind (e.g. thinking about student loans, or papers to turn in, or anticipation of promotion/redundancies, etc etc).
If if only happened to you, I would add that you might have some hormonal changes too (e.g. thyroid), but since both of you are experiencing the change, then I doubt it has to do with a medical condition.
You need to prescribe a long weekend to a nice place, the both of you, to spark it up again ;-)
Cat
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