A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi guys, this is going to sound really pathettic. but i really miss my girlfriend. we are still together and i see her every weekend, but through the week i just miss her so bad. i feel down and just cant really be bothered with anything else. i love her with all my heart, and i know she feels the same about me but she just gets on with things. maybe its me, im just a big softy lol. we have just returened from a wonderful holiday and i dropped her off at home last night. but when i got in the car to leave her i was almost crying. i dont know why, we are still together and our relationship is great. but when we are apart i find myself wondering about silly things, like my mind wonders off. i speak to her every day but i cant help thinking that she is still in contact with her ex partners, i dont know where i get this from because i have no proof of anything, i think its just me with paranoia issues. someone please tell me why i miss her so bad, when we are still together, and why i keep torturing myself by thinking silly things about her when were apart. thanks in advance guys.
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male
reader, Missandlovejess  +, writes (30 August 2018):
Being ready to build a future with her after all that
A
male
reader, Arka  +, writes (19 June 2017):
OMG exact same thing is going on with me except i am 13+ years old and i meet my girlfriend only on weekend at tution. And all the week i miss her a lot! I can only suggest u to call her on skype or video call or something like that unless u can meet her in person. Good Luck :)
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A
male
reader, Wilf  +, writes (30 June 2012):
Yep I can relate to feeling it's pathetic too! Much the same for me, I'm 53 and 3 years divorced after 25 years of marriage and four lovely kids. Just about a year ago I met my GF and we get along amazingly when we're together which isn't often enough since there's 500 miles between us, a couple of times a month at most. The trouble is, the first few days I'm OK just missing her madly (it starts before we part) and then the first times I started getting jealous about what she might be up to and so on but that's pretty much disappeared now, there's lots of trust and faith between us but as I said, after a few days I start missing her so badly I just can't get on with stuff. She does. I know it's me being stupid and that I should get on with work and so on but I just mope. Is this some kind of hormonal effect in we men? Despite searching on the web I've turned up zilch as yet, has anyone out there found anything to this tune? Another thing that all of this has made me think about is that one of the greatest difficulties with my ex was pretty much this: she never seemed to understand my feelings over this kind of emotional outbreak and the new one tells me that she feels fine "just knowing I'm there" but it just doesn't seem to work like that with me. I desperately need to be with her which is not an option right now what with shared custody with the kids. I've decided to try and be more independent but that makes me worry I might cool off too much and lose interest, but I suppose that is The Test. It just seems to me that this is a much commoner pattern in relationships than we suspect: the guy needs more contact and she doesn't cotton on to his needs in this respect and will even, as with my ex, try to belittle the sentiment in me, disregard its importance in expressing my feelings. Why do they always freak out when we tell them how much we want them? Oh well, a little patience is in order I suppose, but I often feel like ending it, the hurt can be absolute agony, but it ain't every day you meet someone genuinely special.
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A
male
reader, Together4Ever +, writes (21 August 2010):
Dude like almost everyone here, I feel the same exact way. But a little add on to other advice, if she says that she really loves you asuch as she does then she won't do anything to hurt you so I know it is hard to break out of the paranoid thoughts but she won't do anything. Trust me. Maybe you can go and surprise her with a visit. Just a thought. But I always say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. The longer you two are apart, the next time you see each other will be that much more special. I hope this works. Good luck to you and all the others too
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A
male
reader, MrReasonable +, writes (22 April 2010):
If I can add a few words to this, I know exactly where you're coming from on this... It's great that so many people can relate to you on this, but I'd just like to share some advice on things which have been very useful to me and many of my friends and acquaintances. First, change your perspective on the time that you spend apart. This is probably the biggest factor and most likely the hardest to change, but it's so vital. Next time you are doing something with your girlfriend and you then have to say goodbye to take care of separate things, instead of focusing on how much you're going to miss her and how much less you enjoy time way from her than with her, get excited about the next time you're going to see her. Think about what you can do to make it exciting and interesting and to get her excited about it. This will not only make you more focused on future time that you will spend with her, but it will take your mind off of the fact that you're not with her at that moment, and it will make the suspense fun for the both of you. Secondly, you need to realize that the time away from your girlfriend is a time to work hard and get things done. This will have two positive effects for you. The first is that you'll feel more confident in yourself and be more secure about her interests because you're accomplishing more and will feel more deserving of her undivided love, so the issue with exes will go away, and secondly, your new degree of being busy will reflect in the way that you relate to your girlfriend. Believe it or not, the fact that she is ok with being away from you, makes you even more crazy about spending time with her. Essentially, the more she is independent, the more you want to be dependent...But, if you can partially switch that around and make her feel like your time is a rare commodity and in high demand, the more that she'll want it and you may end up spending just as much time or more time with her, and have her twice as excited to see you. It's all about changing the balance of interest. You'll get what you want, and believe it or not, your girlfriend will be even happier with you because she'll appreciate her time with you and respect you that much more. Having balance is an important part of any relationship, and if the relationship is healthy, then it will always balance itself out. It's important for a relationship to be in balance so that both individuals can feel good about it. Third, if you are having a hard time coming up with ways to do this, then here is a simple suggestion of something you could try:-Plan out your next date-Get something done that you needed to get done-Come up with something clever or romantic to write to or say to your girlfriend next time you talk that will probably make her smile, laugh or better yet, want to kiss you.-Listen to music that you enjoy, but avoid anything that is romantic or sings about girls; this, although you'll want to listen to it, will just make you long to be with your girlfriend.-Exercise. Exercise is a good way to release endorphins, improve your mood and take your mind off of your other concerns; the more intense the workout, the better. Another added benefit to this, is that your girlfriend will probably appreciate the new definition in your arms and won't mind that you're taking good care of yourself!Hopefully this has been helpful. Right now I have a really successful relationship with my girlfriend. I'll admit that at times I do miss her, but by using many of the tools that I've just told you about, I seem to manage just fine, and I've found that as I am more independent and confident in myself, she has been more likely to ask me when is the next time that she gets to see me. I wish you good luck!
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male
reader, ttocs +, writes (26 February 2010):
AH! i know exactly how you feel! my girlfreind and i are seperated becaseu of college and i feel the same way! (very recently ive questioned this myself) We're going to seperate colleges about 2 hours apart, her family is here too so she visits very couple of weekends and we're doing GREAT! i love it and everything about it! but, just like you i question alot of silly things and get paranoid about things that i can reason with (just like you) so, maybe we can find some way to deal. I talk to her all the time, so i'd say that that is a good ting! but something we do is write letters. you daid you were a softy so this should be no problem. YOu guys are in the same city so it might be alittle silly but really sweet. thats another thing, try to be sweet. im always trying to be romantic becasue 1- i lvoe it and 2- it reminds her that i love her and keeps things interesting. (something i get paranoid about is that im not doing enough cause i dont get complements enough or kissies .) And the lst thing i can say to try and help you is something i HATE hearing: go do stuff! i hate hearing this because all i want to do is think of my girlfriend and be with her and whe i can't it really sucks (im sure you know all about that too!) but find something time comsuming! study! go out with friends, im sure they'll help too. OH!the LAST thing you could do, if you two are serious enough, suprise her with a "promise ring" it might not be your kind of thing, but we did it promiseing to be togather untill marrage. it might help your worrying about her cheating. Well, I hope this helped buddy! and if YOU have any advice for ME then just leave aresponse. id take anything. Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): I dont know, but i am EXACTLY like you, I always want to be with my girl and i think im clingy, she just left to go back home for acouple months and im tearing myself apart because i miss her so badly!! when she comes back she is moving in, and i have paranoia that she is going to change her mind, but we are in love with eachother so i highly doubt anything will stop us from being together, I thought i was the only one who had these issues, kinda feels okay that im not =P
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): i have a friend in my work and he and his grlfiend karina break up after 4 years!
it was so sad..
one day someone send me massage here about some ebook and i almost deletet it becuse i
was thinking that is another spam but in the last
moment i notice that is came with money back guarded so i was thinking to myself, if it
was bull way they say money back guarded?
maybe they so certain that this ebook is work for sure, that they feel
the confidence to say it?
so i entered the website of that ebook and i impressed with the professional system to
get the exgirlfriend back.
so i was send the link http://alturl.com/8wav to my friend and yesterday he gut back to
hes grilfrind!
isn't it cool? :)
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A
female
reader, Emjo +, writes (16 June 2009):
 You obviously care about her a lot...
I mean I miss my boyfriend like 10 seconds after he walks out of the door and i dont sotp missing him till i hear him knock at the door again...
I wouldn't worry, its natural, or at least i hope so as i feel the same. :)
And also your bound to worry about ex partners and things, clearly this girl means a lot to you and you must hate the thought of losing her thus making you somewhat 'paranoid'
Honestly, i think your really cute. Its nice to be missed and cared about :)
Take care,
Em.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all the answers guys, it does help to have a few opinions on where i can improve things. thanks
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): You miss her because you love her silly goose! Don't worry, I've been there...to be talking to my girl all day and I still miss her..weird I know but wow its a great feeling huh.
I don't think you are doing anything bad but try not to let it get to you too much. The girl does not want to be a source of sadness for a guy and she may even get freaked out of you show this side of her...or she may love you even more. I don't know because I don't know the personalities you two have.
She is off about her things...she is confident in you and the relationship and she is healthy because of it. You should be the same too and not breaking down when she is not by your side. You need to be strong and confident about yourself as well, this is actually very important in a relationship. Maybe you can't be bothered with everything else in your life when she is not around but that is not healthy trust me, and may become a double edged sword. Remember it is you with the problem , not her so don't insult her by thinking about her past ex's.
I don't know if any of this helps but your love reminds me of a past love and I hope you two become closer , and progress happily. Good luck and all the best.
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A
female
reader, chiya +, writes (16 June 2009):
hmmm hey look your only problem is that you love her waaay too much !!but i think there might be a little problem of insecurity with you......well buddy if she loves you and you love her then nothing else should reallly matter !! look yeah you are a softie,, but there is nothing wrong with being one too, but look you have to realise that if you kee up with being so extra involved with her then she might start feeling uncomfortable ......just relax !!! she loves you ...alright she has had past relationships but what matters is that she is with you right now in the present !!and well its not like shes not going to be around anymore !! if you two are serious , then you might end u getting married !!! so no more " her not being around" but you just have to wait for the time to come for al of this to happen !!! whenever you miss her next time just think abt the last beautiful memory u had with her and get excited and charged up to meet her again at the weekend !!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): You need to be trusting and have more self confidence. In my opinion your feelings could destroy this relationship. If you have strong feelings that something is going on when you are not around it could be true. But if you know she cares for you and these are just random off the wall thoughts then you need to relax. Its not healthy for you. Its ok to miss someone as much as you do. Just dont think the worst. Try to think of the weekend coming up and what the two of you can do together.
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A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (16 June 2009):
She may or not be back in contact with her ex'es. There is no harm in asking if that is something that is really bothering you. I don't know the situation about why you guys dont see eachother during the week... but maybe you both can work things out and move schedules around if yall need more time together. There is no cure for missing someone except for seeing them more often! Talk these things out with her, maybe you guys can come up with a workable situation together.
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