A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i think im in love,i told the girl that ive fancied for over a year how i felt about her, we've known each other for a while, i enjoy being around her, listening to her, talking to her, just being with her makes me happy. i get that whole feeling of butterflys in my stomach, you know, your heart skipping a beat and i get quite nervous but i enjoy being around her.weve been out a couple of times in the past, to gigs, shopping, saw a film and i can honestly say i dont think ive ever felt happier than when im with her, i assumed she might be interested in me, she gave me her number in the first place when we met on a school trip last year and she used to make fun of me, gave a me a nickname, flick me with her scarf, little things like that that made me think she could like me. i can honestly say a day hasnt gone by that the havent thought about her. then mre recently we grew abit distant i dont know why, it upset me and i cried to myself, pathetic? i dont know but it upset, i dont get to see her at school because shes always surrounded by her friends and i just feel akward, shes one of the popular girls in my year and im just an oridnary person, perhaps i feel intimadated by that entire group? shes always talking with other boys and i get so jealous that now theyre with her and im not, i would go up and try to talk to her but i feel like it would be akward and when i have tried it just feels weird and i know the boys shes with want me to leave. anyway recently i told her how i feel, it had got to me, so i told her, she said that she didnt feel the same way about me but that she thought i was anice person and that we could still be friends and me holding back the tears and the urge to yell "i love you" just said thats fine, but as an afterthought i just asked why, she said that she feels she doesnt have time to go out with people and that she has to work really hard at school and so going out with someone wouldnt be helpful.all i could do was accept that, i said i cant change how you feel can i so i left it there. that was a few weeks ago and i still cant stop thinking about her, i dont want to stop thinking about her and 'get over her', ive never felt this way about any girl in my life; i mean im 17 so i suppose i dont really know what love is but if its this, this unquestionable urge to be with someone that i keep feeling despite the odds i feel being stacked against me, that makes it sounds like a challenge, i mean its so hard for me to write out how i feel. but shes been on my mind for a year and my feeling havent wavered atall, it really makes me upset sometimes and i just go to my room and literally breakdown. i bet this seems melodramatic? like im overreacting? but i feel like thinking of her has consumed my life, my every action seems geared towards her, is that wrong? does all off what im saying sound wrong? i just dont know, but im coming to the conclusion i dont think ill stop feeling the way i do about her and its killing me.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (16 June 2009):
 Aww Buddy, you brought tears to my eyes. You are suffering I know. Unrequited love is a bitch. All I can tell you is that time is your best friend. Sooner or later the pain will ease up a bit and each day will be easier. Keep your chin up, what you are enduring isn't life-threatening just miserable.
A
male
reader, spinnaker89 +, writes (16 June 2009):
Here's the thing, im going through kinda the same situation. I ve been with a girl for a year and now she is telling me she isnt into it and what not and i might not be right. Ok so kinda different, but the same idea. At this point i have the same issue of not being able to get her out of my mind and cant figure out why she doesnt want us. So, ive been looking at this way. If she doesnt want you, you probably dont want to be with her. It hurts, but your not going to have a healthy relationship if she isnt committed as much as you are. If its just school for her that is stopping it, then be friends for now, and in the future it will work out when she has time, or in the summer. If its because she's not into you then you need to more on, cause your just going to kill yourself, and i know that feeling cause im being a hypocrite right now and waiting it out also with my issue. So, maybe take the summer and try to build up a really good friendship with her, one on one, without her other friends and it might work out for you. And in the end you might make more friends with her friends. It can really only open up opportunities as of now, taking the friends route. Shes not gonna take you now, so if you do truely like her, leave yourself in the picture, but give yourself options. Good luck!
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