A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok well my girlfriend and i have been togetehr a really long time and i love her with all my heart and so she feels the same she let me know that a million times. i honestly could c myself being with her forever(sorry if i sound stupid)i really love her so much. we spend almost everyday all day together and im liek really protective of her cuz she stays n a really bad neighborhood(filled with perves and way older guys who try n get younger girls)and her mom doesn seem to care really about anyone but her own boyfriend. i dont live close by anymore cause ive went to college and i now stay about 45 minutes to an hour away so we talked on the phone alot and i knew she was ok but the problem now is that her phones been off for almost a week now and will be i think till the fifteenth or maybe a lil after i know its not a really long time but that areas really bad and i worry bout her so much being there cuase shes not really the strong type shes more on the softer side so shed be easy to take advantage of if anyone tried and it worries me so much she said she would write me till the phone came back on but she hasnt and im really worried i cant sleep or really eat and every second of the day im just worried bad. if i had a car id just drive there but her moms bf doesnt liek me(and has no idea who i even am but dont like me) and thats who they stay with so i cant and i just wanted to know what i should do?i mean im really worried not that shell do soemthing i trust her and know she wouldnt i just wanna know that shes ok cause it seems like everyone that lives in that area is a perve. i know i probably sound pathetic but im just really worreied about her and i need help on what to do.ive been trying to do things to make the day go by faster so the fifteenth can hurry and come but nothigns been working at all. thanks to anyone who can help me with this. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh ok thanks
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Well, most answers need moderator approval before they become visible. Some of us have been given immediate approval based on our record here. Unfortunately the mods get swamped sometimes and it takes a while for posts to show up. Give it time, if others have answered, their posts will show up eventually.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou have i've only been able to see your answers though for some reason. i get emails saying other people are answering but the only post i can see are yours and another guys post. do you know how to fix that or am i just not doing something right?
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 September 2010):
It's alright, I hope we've been helpful to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni understand what you mean thanks. Sorry for any problems you've had reading my post
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 September 2010):
Well, mail can take a couple of days, even if it is in the same town. Usually 3 to 4 days for a letter to go from one post office to the delivery location, and that's assuming a good post office. I've lived some places where that same thing would take over a week.
Paying her phone bill wouldn't be a horrible idea if that's an option. I'm not sure where she lives, but lots of places have internet cafe's that can be used for cheap or free so she can send an email or have an IM chat. Heck, you could send her a prepaid cell phone or something too.
Listen, about her neighborhood. I have a very good friend who lives in a very rough neighborhood in Harlem. Drug dealers on a couple floors in her building. Crazy stuff going on outside. She's fine. In fact, she loves it. She was scared at first, but didn't let it keep her from living her life. Your GF will be fine. She just has to remember to be safe. I'm sure she knows these things as you've probably told her many times.
One other thing, this isn't meant as a knock, so please take it as constructive. Your posts are very difficult to read. I realize that this is a casual forum where people ask for help, but things like spelling and punctuation do help us understand what you're typing. I also think you'll find people more willing to help out if they don't get a headache trying to read your post. I hope that you put more care into your writing for class then you have here. Good luck in school and with this problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionif anyones answering this other than the two showing can you send your answer to my inbox plz?im new to this and keep getting emails saying i have new answers but cant find them
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni wanna go over there but i dont have a way n they live with her boyfriend who doesnt even know me but he doesnt like me, he hasnt seen or heard anything of me except my name and doesnt like me so im sure he wouldnt let me come to his house so idk wut to do i was thinkin i could just help her pay her phone bill(its only 45 dollars) btu i didnt want her mom to start getting mad n sayin stuff bout me n her
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know what u mean n i probably am but her neighborhood is like filled with tons of like sick people its crazy and shes 17 but i understand wut ur coming from she doesnt really have anything right now cuz her moms like only worrying bout her boyfrend n not really doing anything for her or her brother(the boyfriends an ass,controlling,cheats on her nonstop like daily it seems, she knows all this and still doesnt leave and shes like his slave almost) so no internet, the only connection i have with her is her phone right now and its off till the 15th i know i seem klike obsessed i jus worry bout her cuz if anything happened to her i know her mom would make it seem liek her fault. but thanks, i didnt think the nmail would take a long time if your only like an hour away from whoever your sending it too tho would it?thanks alot tho i know i got alot going on in college and im taking care of it all and doing good its just on my free time when i dnt have school its like i have nothing to do to take my mind off not talking to her.but thanks again that actually calmed me a lil maybe it is jus taking a while for her letetr to get here
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reader, dirtball +, writes (8 September 2010):
Hmmmm, what should you do?
Chill out and focus on school. She's fine and you're overprotective. She's what? 17, 18. She's either almost an adult or an adult. She needs to learn how to take care of herself.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't worry about her, but try to obsess less. When you said she would write to you, keep in mind, that takes a while to get through the mail. Unless you were talking about email. Do either of you have internet access? You could chat over any multitude of sites on there.
Really, to me it sounds like you're freaking out more because of the lack of contact. When you're used to regular communication with someone, going without it can eat at you. Hopefully you can get in touch, and hopefully that calms you down.
To me, the mark of a good relationship is finding someone who I want to be part of my life, not my whole life. Let yourself live your life. You've got lots to do in college, why don't you try doing some of it?
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reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Don't worry, you aren't being irrational in the slightest. I do recommend somehow going to her house just to see if she's alright. I'm sure she'll understand. No fear of her mother's boyfriend, they should not be of your concern. I'm sure your girlfriend would appreciate the thought of you being concerned for her safety. It's good to be that caring. By all means, go over there just to check up on her. I do hope she's alright.
I hope that helps.
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