A
male
age
36-40,
*4s3
writes:Well, my first question was a little long and dramatic, here's the quick follow-up question *cough*. So 4 years ago my best friend got himself a girlfriend from spain who was jawdropping gorgeous. I fell in love with her...Anyway...I think she liked me too...both of us are kind of quiet and introverted...and she was going out with my best friend who was usually there too when we went out to a bar, so we casually talked and I played my part of not being interested. But oddly enough when we were in a bar and had a couple of drinks we clicked like hell. Laughing and dancing together...many times she was the one who came on to me and pulled me on the dancefloor. One night I couldnt take it anymore and we went out for a walk onto a bridge and I told her that she's the most beautiful person I've ever met blablabla and I really meant it...she started to cry and said we'd better go in again, cause it really seemed we were about to kiss each other. Many times we also just ended up sitting outside and talking about life and stuff. So...2 years ago or sumtin my friend who's still going out with her at that point gets invited to her house in spain and she wants me to come along too. Now that shit killed me...being on the beach and seeing them do their couplestuff...and again there was this weird silence between me and her that was loaded with tension for some reason. She was scared to something wrong, I was too. And she would sometimes break the silence by saying...You know I like you and that was it, a couple of more sentences between us some silly joke finito...But then there would be those other moments where we layed on the beach face to face looking each other in the eyes, talked and you know really intimately and her sister caught onto it and I noticed her glance at my friend who trusted me enough to not care. Or he knew she wasn't into me. She even jumped up and wanted to put the sunlotion on my body. There were many instances where sexual tension and innuendo was obvious between us. For a guy this sais I am attracted to you. So back home I made an amatuer mistake, I sent her an e-mail where I told her that I loved her and all this crap...poured my heart out about why I was so weird around him and her. and she replied 4 months later with this: " First of all, sorry but i really didn't have time for writing you back, and to be honest i didn't know what to say. No, i didn't say anything to flori but the point of making you wait for such a long time is that i need time to think, to think what to tell you, time to let you calm down and maybe to hate me or to forget me, i hope that doesnt sound arrogant for you because that is not what i have in mind.Even if you don't believe me, i just wanna say you are an important person for me, maybe sounds like a excuse.... but that is up to you. I never pretent to hurt you or to play with you, quite the opposite and i hope you can understand me.If i have to choose, i would rather prefer being your friend if you cannot accept that i will respect if you dont wanna talk to me, but i just want to let you know that as a friend i will always be there for you, i know i wrote you kind of late, and you must be pissed... i dont expect an answer but Just think about that." Now...In retrospect I kind of understand her answer lol...but I know that if a woman sais: Just friends it's pretty much a goner and our contact kind of fizzled out after this and now...2 years later she e-mails me and messages me that I must come visit her! For at least 3 days in spain! She wants me to come!!. Turns out she and my best friend have broken up half a year ago or so...what the hell is this girl doing!?...and one other thing. She wouldn't be the first girl who does this. She writes nothing for 1 month than there's a single: "Hey, how's it going? " I answer and nothing comes back. One other girl did the same thing for quite some while...Is there some meaning behind that??? I dont get it.
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 This story is all over the place, from what I hear all women from Spain are gorgeous., let me tell you looks aren't everything sometimes they fade in time or age not so greatly..Let me see if I got it here..You're best friend has this girlfriend in Spain but you like her, you guys were a little drunk and that's when the feelings tumbled out, you go with you're friend to see her on and off, some tension, you get jealous that her and your friend are still together, you sent an email confessing your undying love thus freaking her out, she is weirded out but gets that you like her she can't reciprocate because she's still with your friend, maybe you guys could be together in time but she's not going to ask you to wait, now it's best to cut off contact, now her boyfriend is out of the picture and now she's looking for another and you got away from her so let's give you a ring, however she's still friends with the ex....In a nutshell did I get it right?
Few noticeable problems here, it's your BEST friend's girlfriend. Come on now, in girl world there's that code where you stay away from your bestie's other if you want to keep your friend. Crappy friends are the ones who try to intervene. Then you wrote her that email pouring your heart out, big mistake. You could have bid your time waiting for them to break-up then make your move, in a way that ruined your chances. But no one's perfect at times are feelings get the best of us.
What this girl wants now from you is to explore further what is there between you two but wants to seek other options as well. However, she doesn't want to keep waiting around she's single and it seems like she isn't entirely over your best friend yet. She's rather ADD with guys. This girl isn't girlfriend material here, she is one of those ones who can't be tied down for a certain period of time. So many guys so little time, there's always another coming along that will posses something much more appealing than the ones before. Sorry but I think you're wasting your time chasing her, how long have you been doing so?
A
male
reader, n4s3 +, writes (8 September 2010):
n4s3 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Woaeh...one other thing...this sounds like I'm trying to get her into bed. I didnt make an amateur mistake...you know what I mean...Never blather your true emotions to a woman, cause she'll turn and run but I couldn't help myself...
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A
male
reader, n4s3 +, writes (8 September 2010):
n4s3 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'll tell you how it goes pretty much every time. She writes on my facebook wall..." Heeey! Get Your Ass Here to Spain!!! :D "and she writes these things beneath some videos ppl have already commented on, so it's not as visible I guess so my best friend won't see it as he's also on facebook...I answer her and no reply...literally...not a sentence nothing...then...2 weeks go by...a message in my inbox: " Hey! how are you doing? Get your ass to spain :D " I answer...no reply...Now my friend told me a couple of days ago that he's visiting her in Spain...She sais that they're still good friends but I think my best friend still has feelings for her...I don't really know what this girl is trying to do, or what her intentions are... Could a woman please help me out here?
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