| A
female
,
*eartcry
writes: I have a life partner, but recently I fell in love with my childhood friend, whom I haven't heard from for over a decade. I was once in love with this friend, but we lost touch for many years. At the time, he had caused me much hurt, so when he came back this time, we became friends again, and within the same day confessed our feelings for each other. We lived the next two weeks as if we were long time lovers, although we hardly took time to get to know each other again. It was a mistake and within two weeks we had to call it off. Due to many reasons like the fact I already have a partner I didn't want to cheat on and he had just broke off with another person. He wasn't prepared for another relationship, furthermore a long distant one. We manage to resolve the issue between us, but sort of vow we won't be in each other's lives again. I regretted it after, and really missed the friendship itself. After all these years I finally found the guy I had been longing for, and we decided to not contact anymore within two weeks. I regretted having stepped into this, and thought I should just have treated him like a friend from the beginning. Question is so what do I do now? I feel like writing to him again like before, and offer him just friendship and nothing more. But considering we had feelings for each other, is this the wisest thing to do? How will this affect my relationship with ny partner. Coz I missed this guy badly, missed the friendship badly. Should I try to make contact or forget about him totally. He was like my bestfriend before. We thought we were soulmates coz we really really click.
View related questions:
fell in love, soulmate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): Maybe you should contact him.I have a similar problem,Im 17 now but when i was 10 years old i became friends with a girl at school.We were best friends for about 5 years, we became closer then just friends, but she moved away and we lost contact..Over the last 5 months or so i find i cant stop thinking about her..
A
female
reader, sarah1975uk +, writes (25 November 2005):
i am in the same situation at the moment i was with someone 12 yrs ago and we were in a very close relationship and total soul mates as well as best friends, one night we were out with our own friends in a nightclub and he thought he saw me kissing another man, which i wasnt and this confusion ended in us splitting up, time moved on and i ended up moving away having kids etc etc. a couple of months ago my best friend sarah bumped into my ex and he was asking after me and wanted her to pass on his mobile number too me, which she did we have met up a few times and texted nearly every day. the old feelings are still there and its one of my life regrets that we split up and we have both said if we hadnt split then we would have been together now!. Problem is i now have 3 kids and am married! and although my ex says he wants me and has the same feelings as back then and regrets us splitting up on the other hand he gives mixed messages about the fact im married now and should try and work at it and that me and him can now only be friends etc. He is the true love of my life and although ive tried the just being friends thing it just doesnt work i still look at him and think what ifs and the fact i fancy the pants off him. I dont want to loose him either but have tried the friends but as soon as i say stuff as if just mates he does get jelous and i know deep down that he wants more just doesnt want to be the one to tell me to leave my husband and becuase he does love me i know he wont accept me staying with my husband but seeing my ex at the same time to see how things go. i would say go with your heart!! you only live once and you dont want to get to the age of a granny and have regrets of what ifs. have fun be his friend and hopefully he will see what he is missing out on with you and want to take it further. There is no right answer for our situation but you do only live once and have to do whats right for you! i truly hope you find happiness and get the result you want.
...............................
A
reader, Angel-lee +, writes (25 November 2005):
If you have feelings for him then you wont be able to be JUST friends. It doesnt work like that. If you love your partner then you would not invite someone who you have seen for a decade in to your life, knowing damn well that you are attracted to him. Its a bad idea. If you knew that you didnt have any feelings for him, then fine go for it make a new friend but if you do, stay well away if you want to keep your man
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2005): Your husband, or " Life partner" is suppose to be your best friend. What happened to that? Why are you not putting this much energy into restoring that friendship? write this old bf and tell him you want to keep in touch as friends, only, and see if he will respond. I am still friends with a woman I had a crush on in high school 40 years ago. Thank God we live about 2,000 miles apart. We exchange emails, and Christmas cards, and keep each other up on our families, Its been 18 years since I visited her in her home, but it was nice to see her again. We " clicked" then, and always do when we talk on the phone. Its as if we just talked to each other yesterday. Its nice to know you can have that kind of friendship that will last for the ages. I don't think we could ever live together, as we have very different interests, and some differing views that would clash. But we are comfortable together. She loves her husband and family, and I respect her more for that. Cool it with the long distance bf, and work on your marriage, or life partner relationship. I think you will be happier.
...............................
|
